As I mentioned in some earlier posts, my life has completely changed this year. Every aspect of how I function has been uprooted, and it is taking me time to figure out the new me. From friends and activities to raising the boys and walking with God...nothing is the same. God allowed suffering in my life, and the result is a completely new Amanda. I still have my quirks, my personality, the things I love and the things I really dislike, but my priorities have changed and the walls that compartmentalized so much of my life are gone. I lost a great deal of who I was, but what I have gained is so much better than I could have ever imagined. Through pain, God has brought peace, and as the dust settles and His light shines through, joy fills my heart. God can use everything for His good, but it's up to us if we want to choose to be a part of His blessing; it's up to us to pick up our cross and follow him. I have accepted the revolution to came into my life; I have embraced that which I don't understand for the sake of gaining new life in Christ. The result is beauty beyond imagination, peace that surpasses understanding, faith built on a firm foundation, hope in every situation, and love like I've never experienced before.
Matthew 16:24-27 says, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father's glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what he has done."
Through everything that has happened in my life this year, the greatest lesson I've learned is this: when I chose to surrender and follow God's leading, when I chose to let go of my hurt or ambition, when I chose to lose my life for His sake, when I chose to step out in faith and lean on Him to get me through, the reward, the end state is more amazing then anything I could have hoped for. God allows us to make our own choices; He loves us enough to give us the freedom to learn, grow, and experience things in our lives. Here's a secret I've learned though: His way is the best way. Your cross may be heavy, laying down your life as you know it may seem scary, but when you take that step of faith and walk towards Jesus, his open arms will catch you. He will give you new life in Him and bless you in ways you could not imagine.
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