Fire on the Mountain

A couple of years ago my husband and I were in the market to buy a house.  We would be first time homeowners, and we were so excited about the possibilities.  We looked at several, and put an offer in on the one that we thought would perfect for us;  the offer wasn't excepted, and after several counter-offers, it fell through; we were left disappointed and still looking.  In all of it, God knew that there was a better house for us;  it was a bigger house in a better neighborhood, and we fell in love with it at first sight.  It wasn't that it was perfect; it had been a rental property for years and the place hadn't been renovated since it was built in the 1970's, but that's why we loved it.  It was a clean slate for us.  It wasn't updated, so the price was well within our range, and at the closing we were given a check to help start the renovations that it needed.  Don't get me wrong, it was livable, but the pea green bathtub with the black tile walls around it had to go, as did the tack strips left around each room from a carpet that was pulled up at who knows what point.  We replaced all of the interior doors and the garage door, we built a new deck, got a new driveway, and replaced all of the windows.  The best part about our house is that it's ours to do all of those things with;  we got to pick it all and we got to put the work into it to make it become exactly what we wanted it to become.  One weekend my husband rented some equipment, bought paving stones and went to work laying a walkway from our driveway to the front door, and then from the front door to the backyard;  he did it all by himself and it's amazing.  We planted plants and trees, and fenced in the backyard;  it's a beautiful house on the side of a big hill with views of the water.  It's our home, and for a family who moves as much as we do it's a wonderful feeling to know that we have a place that belongs to us somewhere in this world. 

I was on my way to the grocery store yesterday morning with three screaming boys in the backseat when my phone rang; it was my husband who is away again for a while.  My happy greeting to him was met with these words, "There was a fire at the house this morning..." 

It was freak accident;  the power lines underground in our front yard surged.  The surge found the cable box and it ignited.  Fortunately, God had His hand on the situation;  our tenants had just returned home from vacation, and had they not been there the whole house would've gone.  They were there though, they all got out fine, and our house, while charred on the outside and in need of new electrical wiring underground, was preserved on the inside. 

We're working through the insurance and rental issues from a few thousand miles away; it's been a stressful 48 hours to say the least, but step by step we're getting through. 

In my continuing journey through Exodus, I read about another fire this week:  a heavenly fire. 

Moses led the Israelites to the Desert of Sinai;  they made camp of the foot of Mount Sinai.  It was here that God once again spoke directly to Moses;  it was here that God prepared Moses and the Israelites to receive His law, His commandments. 

"On the morning of the third day there was thunder and lightning, with a thick cloud over the mountain, and a very loud trumpet blast.  Everyone in the camp trembled.  Then Moses led the people out of the camp to meet with God, and they stood at the foot of the mountain.  Mount Sinai was covered with smoke, because the Lord descended on it in fire.  The smoke billowed up from it like smoke from a furnace, the whole mountain trembled violently, and the sound of the trumpet grew louder and louder.  Then Moses spoke and the voice of God answered him."  Exodus 19:16-19

 

 

As the story goes, Moses was called up to the top of the mountain and he was told to go get Aaron and bring him up as well, but the rest of the Israelites were not to come up or they would perish. God had put limits on His people, guidelines that they were to follow when approaching Him, when dealing with the fire. It was at this time that God spoke His Commandments. 

 

When I read this, I was struck by the line, "...because the Lord descended on it in fire."  I was struck not because of our own fire incident for I read this the day before that happened;  I was struck by it because of the power and the force that fire holds.  It was again yet another example to me of what it means to "fear the Lord".

Exodus 20:18-21 says this, "When the people saw the thunder and lightning and heard the trumpet and saw the mountain in smoke, they trembled with fear.  They stayed at a distance and said to Moses, 'Speak to us yourself and we will listen.  But do not have God speak to us or we will die.'  Moses said to the people, 'Do not be afraid.  God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning.'  The people remained at a distance, while Moses approached the thick darkness where God was."

 

God showed His power through thunder and lightning, smoke and fire;  it got the Israelites' attention.  It got my attention too, and it not only helped to illustrate the "fear of the Lord", but to me it also speaks to the term "refining fire". 

 

God came down to His people in fire, He directly spoke His laws to them;  He gave them guidelines to keep their hearts clean and to stay "right" with Him.  He told them exactly how to live a life pleasing to Him, and in it I see God saying this, "Don't be afraid to walk through the fire when I call you to (like Moses and Aaron), or to be near the fire (like the Israelites)....if you follow My commandments, though you may get a little charred on the outside, the inside will remain intact...fear Me for I am powerful, but trust Me because I am loving.  You are My people, My beloved, the fire will hurt you if you don't respect it, if you don't follow the guidelines I gave you for dealing with it, but if you do, I will see you through it and I will bless you because of it." 

 

I hate that the house my husband and I have worked so hard on is now in a state of crisis; I hate that the outside is charred and that everyone in town knows all about what happened to our home, but I love that not one drop of water, or one lick of flame touched what was on the inside.  I see myself in my house, and in Moses making his way through the desert;  I've walked through some fires in my life, and I have met with God on some mountain tops, but in everything, through all of the refining and all of the doubts and close calls, my outside might be a little charred, but my inside still trusts in Christ alone, and when Christ dwells in your house, not a lick of flame or a drop of water will enter in. 

 

The Israelites didn't have the example of Jesus back then, but they had the hope of Him;  God's laws were their example, the guidelines they were to follow.  Their lives weren't easy, and they complained a lot, but they were God's chosen people, and He walked with them through the impossible, through the fire. 

 

Today, we have Jesus Christ as our example, and though our lives are not easy and though everyone around us may know our failures and see our charred shingles, when we accept Jesus into our lives, nothing in this world can touch us;  we need only to trust in Him and when we do He will see us through the impossible; He'll get us through the fire.    

The Battle Belongs to the Lord

I realized this week that I have never really had any understanding of what "the fear of the Lord" means.  I've heard it said many times, and I've even memorized bible verses about it,  but I've never truly "gotten" them.  The only real fear I have ever understood is my own fear of the world. 

Do you have a fear that you are forced to face on a daily basis?  I do.  I have several of them in fact, but one in particular has taken a prominent place in my life this year.  That fear is one of gossip;  I hate the wildfire that gushes out of careless mouths.  I can't lie,  I have been guilty of such carelessness (I think we all have), but particularly in the small community we are a part of and with the pain of what we've come through this year, I feel the heat of it almost daily.  I'm not judging those who talk about me because truthfully if I was on the outside looking in, I would probably do the same.  If all I had was words to help me gain understanding, and if lacked life experience in this area, I would talk too.  I get it, but I still fear it.  I love my husband and I proudly walk arm in arm with him, but it's not my strength that carries me;  only by God's mighty hand do I keep my head up because on my own, the fear that I know so well, would rule over me. 

That's the fear I know;  my fears are based completely on worldliness, and solely on man's sinful nature.  I have never really understood "the fear of the Lord" until recently. 

Something amazing happened to me this week as I was reading in the Old Testament:  it suddenly all became real.  As I have said before, I love to read;  I get lost in books as my mind creates worlds from words written on a page, but I've never done that with the bible before.  I read it, I believe it, and I memorize it, but I've never lost myself in it.  We have all learned the Sunday School versions of the Old Testament stories, but have you ever immersed yourself in the uncut version?  Have you ever allowed your mind the freedom to imagine what it would be like to be oppressed, forced into slavery, and to live under a ruler who declares that every male baby that is born must be killed?  Can you imagine fleeing from armies, having actual conversations with God, and telling God that He must have picked the wrong guy for the job?  I think it's sometimes hard (at least for me) to put myself there in the middle of the parted Red Sea;  it's hard to imagine what that would've been like, or to believe that it really happened at all.  It did happen though, and as I read Exodus this week I found myself there;  I suddenly understood the power of God, and with that, the fear of Him. 

God chose Moses to lead His people out of Egypt;  it wasn't easy, but God intended for it to not be easy.  In Exodus 7:3-5 God says, "But I will harden Pharaoh's heart, and though I multiply my miraculous signs and wonders in Egypt, he will not listen to you (Moses and Aaron).  Then I will lay my hand on Egypt and with mighty acts of judgment I will bring out my divisions, my people the Israelites.  And the Egyptians will know that I am the Lord when I stretch out my hand against Egypt and bring the Israelites out of it."  My first thought is that I want to know what God's voice sounded like when He said, "...the Egyptians will know that I am the Lord...";  can you imagine that?  The authority and power behind it...  Pharaoh and his officials had no fear of the Lord, and boy, did they get a lesson in it.  Sign after sign, plague after plague, God's power kept increasing until suddenly the Israelites are standing at the shore of the Red Sea.  As God's children cry out in fear with the water on one side and the Egyptian army on the other, Moses (the man who previously debated with God over his speaking abilities) says this, "Do not be afraid!  Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today.  The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.  The Lord will fight for you;  you need only to be still." 

And there is it...  What a beautiful speech; a gift from God out of the mouth of one who said he couldn't do it.  "You need only to be still..."  God delivered the Israelites;  they walked straight through the Red Sea.  As I read the story, I could feel the mist of the water on my face, and I could imagine the confusion, the wonder, and the fear of my God who was quite literally guiding them through the impossible.  The Egyptians tried to follow the path through the sea, and as Moses had said, the Israelites would never see them again; "That day the Lord saved Israel from the hands of the Egyptians, and Israel saw the Egyptians lying dead on the shore.  And when the Israelites saw the great power the Lord displayed against the Egyptians, the people feared the Lord and put their trust in Him..."  Exodus 14:30-31. 

The fear of the Lord has suddenly become very real to me;  though I had heard the Exodus story many times before, I never "got" it until now.  The Lord is powerful, and He moves in mighty ways...even today... 

We all face fears;  yours is most certainly different from mine, but know this:  the battle belongs to the Lord.  When we walk in faith with Him, He will deliver us from any multitude of situations, and with fear of Him comes the beginning of truly understanding His love for us. 

When you find yourself caught in the middle of an impossible situation, when a sea that threatens to drown you is on one side and an army who is out to get you is on the other, remember, "you need only to be still...'  The Lord who loves you with a never ending, incomprehensible love will make a way every time, and as you feel the mist of the raging sea on your face remember it is He who is holding back the water;  trust in Him and give thanks to Him.

I love the song lyrics that say, "In heavenly armor we'll enter this land, the battle belongs to the Lord.  No weapon that's fashioned against will stand, the battle belongs to the Lord.  We sing glory and honor, power and strength to the Lord..." 

Sunflowers in My Garden

I have discovered a new love in recent weeks:  gardening.  I've never had a garden before, and though in the past I have tried to grow potted tomato plants, I have had very little success.  The truth is, the closest thing I've ever had to a garden was when my mom painted a picket fence and sunflowers on my wall when I was 15.  I was a bit obsessed with sunflowers at the time, and truth be told, not much has changed since then. 

Sunflowers are bright and beautiful; they are sturdy and strong.  Sunflowers grow tall, and not only were they given their name because they resemble the sun, but they also follow the sun...I think there's a lesson there, but that's not exactly the point I wanted to make this morning...

We have an area in our backyard that I have lovingly dubbed "the mud pit";  the soil is so over saturated in parts of it that it's just a constant muddy mess.  You see the owners of our house used to live here, and they used to have a garden there, but now it's just a patch of dirt that gets the run off from the sprinklers and my kids' inflatable swimming pool.  For a year now it's been mud;  a part of our yard that I keep the kids out of, and where we store icky toys and other things we're not really sure what to do with.  Two months ago we purchased three tomato plants "just to see" if we could grow them without killing them.  It worked!  I can eat fresh tomatoes everyday if I want, and I often do.  
With the success of our three little plants, we decided to expand the garden.  It took some cleaning, some throwing old toys away,  and  some pulling weeds, but eventually we had a beautiful "clean" patch of dirt with which to start.  We went to our local garden center and picked out a variety of fruits and vegetables; on a whim I grabbed a package of sunflower seeds.  When we got home, we wasted no time getting those plants in the ground, and as I hopefully (and sentimentally) sowed the sunflower seeds by our picket fence I had a lingering doubt in my mind that they would actually sprout;  they are just seeds, tiny compared to the thick muddy dirt I was planting them in...would they really grow? 

As if reading my mind, my husband asked me, "So, do you really think those seeds will do anything?" 
"No," I replied without hesitation, "but we'll see what happens...."

I'm still in a bit of shock over what I'm about to tell you, but it's true...they sprouted...all of them!  At this moment they are only about two inches tall, just green stems with two to four leaves each, but they are every bit as beautiful as I imagined!  All I did was plant a seed in the ground, not even a pretty, colorful seed...a black and tanish one...but from that a sprout sprung forth;  what an amazing thing!

As I have been marveling over this for a few days, God, in His continuous faithfulness to me through my daily reading schedule brought me to the parable of the sower in the book of Luke. In this parable Jesus tells of a farmer who sows his seed in various places;  the seed sown on the path is trampled and eaten by birds, the seed on the rock withered due to lack of moisture, the seed sown among the thorns were eventually choked by the thorns, but the seed in good soil sprouted and yielded a crop.  Jesus often spoken in parables, but then would explain the meaning behind them to His disciples:

" This is the meaning of the parable:  The seed is the word of God.  Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved.  Those on the rock are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root.  They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away.  The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life's worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature.  But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop." 

 Luke 8:11-15

 

 

 

I am amazed at how God works through His word in my life;  I am in awe that His timing in revealing Himself to me is perfect.  When I sowed my sunflower seeds I had no idea if they would turn into anything, but I had hope;  the same is true with the seeds I sow in life.  When I share His word with people, when I am an example for Him, and a witness for Him, I have no idea what kind of soil it's falling into, and I have no idea if those seeds will take root in some one's life or not.  Whether I know that or not doesn't matter;  God just asks me to do it.  You see, He is the gardener.  He knows what the soil is like, and when we are faithful to Him and do what He asks of us, every so often the seeds we sow will sprout into something beautiful, colorful, strong, and sturdy.  Every so often they will start to resemble the Son and follow Him. 

 

When we noticed the sprouts coming up along the fence line, my husband said, "Wow, I really didn't think those would do anything."

I said, "Neither did I, but I am so excited that they did!!" 

 

 

When you start to sow seeds in life's garden you may doubt the soil they're falling into, and truthfully you may not be in the same place long enough to see if the seeds sprout or not, but take heart, He knows, He sees, and He cares for each one. 

 

Some of the plants we planted that day have withered and died, some are showing potential and with the proper care will hopefully produce the fruit they were meant to, and as for our little sunflowers...well, I can't wait for them to mature, and to see those bright, beautiful flowers growing tall and following the sun.   

 



Cracks in the Wall

Our boys love to read almost as much as I do.  They have two bookshelves in their room full of all kinds of books, and just like all kids who want to prolong the bedtime routine, they try to get me to read more and more each night.  Some of their books are really good, some make me laugh, some are pretty silly, but there is one in particular that makes me cry every time I try to read it to them.  It's a children's book by Max Lucado called Because I Love You, and don't get me wrong, it's a great book, but the message touches my heart deeply, and it always brings about an emotional response no matter how many times I read the words. 

The book is a story about God's love for His children illustrated through a tale of a man named Shaddai, and the children whom he loves and who love him.  Because of his love for the children, Shaddai builds a wall around their village to protect them from the forest outside.  One day, a little boy finds a crack in the wall, a hole big enough for a child to crawl through.  The boy tells Shaddai about it, and Shaddai realizes (or has known all along) that this child was out searching for cracks in the wall.  This is what Shaddai says to him, "Listen to me.  The lands out there are not for you.  They are not for me.  A journey into the forest will hurt you.  You were not made for those lands.  Let your feet carry you to the many places you can go - not to the one place you can't.  If you leave here, you will not find the way back."
The child says, "You will fix the hole then?" 
"No," Shaddai says, "I created the hole because I love you so much...(farther down the page he says)...I want the children to stay because they want to, not because they have to."

In the story, curiosity wins out, and the boy crawls through the crack "just to take a quick look."  At first the forest looks fun and beautiful, and he wants to tell his friends that there's nothing to be scared of out there, but when he turns around to find his way back to the village, the hole is gone.  Suddenly, the forest seems scary and strange, he starts to fear, and he wonders if Shaddai will come and find him.  He calls out, "Shaddai, Shaddai!  I'm so sorry I didn't listen to you!  Please, come help me."  The book says that before the child even utters the words, Shaddai was on his way to find him;  even before the crack that the boy climbed through closed, Shaddai had opened another and crawled through to find him.  "He left the village he made and set out in search of his child."

I'm crying again...

I think it's so personal to me because I am someone who used to search for cracks in the wall;  I have always known right from wrong, but sometimes the wrong didn't look so wrong until I was in the middle of it.  Curiosity about worldly things can deceive us sometimes;  sometimes it just takes a "quick look" to get us in over our heads.  Whether its lies, or certain relationships, or alcohol, or any number of other sins the world puts a pretty face on, God's children "were not made for those lands." A journey into the world of sin will hurt you, no matter how careful you think you're being, and the thing about those journeys is that there's no way back to the safety of the presence of God...no way back, that is, apart from calling out to Him. 

I've spent much of my life in the "forest";  walking up and down the wall searching for cracks.  I've always known the One who loves me, and I have always believed in His love for me, but I'm a curious girl, not bad, just curious.  Each time that I've crawled through one of those holes though, God has been faithful to rescue me because He loves me. 

I've grown out of the searching, but every once in a while I stumble upon a hole big enough for me to crawl through;  I've found that if I'm not connected to My Father, if I'm not near Him, talking to Him, and seeking Him, my curiosity gets the better of me and soon I'm on a journey that I don't want to be on.  Why?  Let's looks to Romans 7:15-25,

"I do not understand what I do.  For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.  And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good.  As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.  I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, my sinful nature.  For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.  For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing.  Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.  So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me.  For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within the members. What a wretched man I am!  Who will rescue me from this body of death?  Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

Those verses tell me that the sinful nature is powerful, and that when I am a slave to it, when I, on my own strength, try to resist curiosity, and try to keep away from the cracks in the walls - I am powerless.  In every instance my sinful desire will win out.  So it is hopeless?  Am I a slave to sin?  Am I destined to live in the forest?  No!  By God's grace and His love for me (and you!) He sent His Son to save us.  The thing is, when we accept Him, and He builds that wall around us to protect us from a world we don't belong to, it doesn't mean that we won't occasionally find those cracks and decide to crawl through for a "quick look";  it doesn't mean we are immune to the curiosity.  He gives us the freedom to explore, and He knows what we'll do before we do it;  the beautiful thing is that He steps out to save us from ourselves before we even utter our pleas of rescue to Him.  

When the little boy in the book was stuck in the forest, and he couldn't find his way back into the village, he remembered Shaddai telling him often, "I love you so much."  The little boy wondered if Shaddai really loved him enough to come and find him;  you can be sure that no matter how long you've been in the forest, God loves you more than enough to come and find you.  You may wonder if He could forgive you for crawling through one of those cracks and exploring the land where He asked you not to go;  the answer is yes.  Our sinful nature is strong, but God's love and the saving grace of His Son, Jesus, are stronger.  Maybe you've been a believer all of your life and decided to crawl through that wall "just to see what's out there";  maybe your sin is deep, and maybe you can't find your way back into His Presence...call out to Him.  You see, even before you get the words out of your mouth, He'll be there.  He loves us enough to allow us the freedom to leave the safety of His village, and He loves us enough to rescue us when we see for ourselves that the lands beyond His village are not for us.    

The Good Stuff

My husband returned home last week; with great excitement and anticipation the boys and I got dressed up and headed to his squadron's hangar to watch his plane fly in.  I hate that Cory has to be away, but I love homecomings;  the sweetness of missing someone so much, and the joy you feel in your heart when they return is something pure and indescribable (and doubly amazing when shared with your children!).  We waited impatiently as the four planes landed and taxied to an area right in front of the hangar;  it took several minutes for the props to stop turning, but when they did, the stairs were lowered and the game of figuring out which daddy was which began.  We quickly spotted Cory, hugged him for an eternity, and then gathered his things to head home for a four day weekend. 

As I have said in earlier posts, this year has been a hard one for us;  hard is actually an understatement, but through God's grace and provision we have emerged from it stronger;  through obedience to Him we have survived and overcome that which threatened to destroy us.  I know that I am exactly where God wants me to be at this moment;  I know that He meant for our marriage to last.  Just as Joseph said to his brothers in Genesis 50:20, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done...", I feel that though the road we walked was horrendous, God intended to use it for His glory.  When we obey God, and when we follow His leading in our lives - no matter what the circumstances - He will work it out for His good, not only in our lives, but in the lives of those around us. 

We had a great four day weekend;  the boys had missed their daddy so much.  Our living room was turned into a wrestling ring, and all of that pent up boy energy started coming out.  Sometimes when they start playing rough, I can barely watch;  my delicate girl mind just can't quite comprehend the ways of boys, but they love it.  We had picnics and game nights, but I think the most fun we had was playing in the water in our backyard. 
It's been hot here, not the 100+ degree hot that many in our country are dealing with this summer, but it has been 90 degree hot, and for Southern California that's HOT especially without air conditioning!  Fortunately for the boys, we have a little water slide and pool in our backyard, and it has been getting quite a bit of use this year.  I sat back there yesterday watching my husband splashing the boys, dumping buckets of water on them, all of them just laughing hysterically, and I thought to myself, "This is the good stuff..."

 In many ways, life is more than hard, but every so often there are moments of pure joy.

Watching my boys having the time of their lives, I was reminded of everything we've come through this year, of God's great work in my heart and in our marriage, and I realized that had I chose not to obey Him, this moment of joy would not have happened.  When I listened for God's leading and chose to follow Him, He opened a flood gate in heaven, and He poured out a blessing onto our family (Malachi 3:10).  I am so thankful to Him for His faithfulness to me. 

It's Monday now, and real life started again bright and early this morning; while we have Cory home with us for a few more days, he still has to go to work, and I still have dishes, and laundry, and children to take care of.  Our weekend of respite is over, but the joy we shared together over those four days rejuvenated us as only the good stuff can, and the good thing about when fun times turn into memories is that they can last forever. 

James 1:17 says, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." 

When you choose to trust in Him, when you lay all that you are and all that you are going through at His feet and say, "Lead me Father", and when you, in obedience, follow His leading, He is faithful; He will bless you in ways you can't begin to imagine.  When you understand that though life isn't a fairytale, and though things don't always end up the way you think they should, but yet you trust that God's plan is greater than yours, He will start to show you His goodness.  God isn't wishy-washy, He "does not change like shifting shadows."  He is true and steady, a light and a firm foundation;  He is our rock and our fortress, and He is more than able to pour out "the good stuff" when you step out in obedience to Him.

Quiet Waters

I've been feeling discouraged the past few days;  while I've been spending time in the Word, I haven't had many words to write.  I have felt like suddenly there's been a block put up, and the ideas that flowed so freely the past few months have slowed to a trickle.  I have tried writing a few posts, but have quickly deleted them as I felt they were forced rather than written out of the movement of the Spirit within me. 
We've been busy, and with the start of the Olympics, my nights have been filled with the drama of gold medals and the heart-felt biographies of the Olympians.  During the days, we have been running from play date to play date, and also swimming, baseball and church...all the while counting down the days until Cory comes home (which is soon!!). 
As I was putting the clean dishes away this afternoon, Psalm 23 crossed my mind.  It is a psalm I memorized as a child, but one that has taken on new meaning for me recently. 

"He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul..." 

Standing at the sink, these words ran through my mind, and I realized that it is exactly what He has been doing in my life this week. 
It's hard to imagine that while I'm caring for three loud, busy boys I could be beside quiet waters, but I am.  In the midst of our busy days, I have been at peace, and while I haven't been inspired to write post after post, He has been restoring me, refreshing me, and showing me who He is in my day-to-day-nothing-out-of-the-ordinary-life. 
He showed me today that I shouldn't be frustrated, but that I should trust that as My Shepherd, He is leading me through some quiet days that I really do need. 

If you have a minute today, read Psalm 23, and when you feel the Shepherd leading you beside the quiet waters in your life, soak it up...rest in it...and trust in Him, the Restorer of your soul.   

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

He makes my lie down in green pastures,

He leads me beside quiet waters,

He restores my soul.

He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil,

for You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. 

You anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the Lord

forever.

Watch!

I was in junior high school the first time I watched a movie about the End Times.   I remember being in the sanctuary of our church surrounded by our youth group;  the movie had been filmed in the 70's, and while the clothing was kind of amusing to me at the time, the message has stuck with me for years:  the end is coming. 

When the Left Behind series of books came out, I bought each one as soon as it was released;  I'm fascinated with the subject in a way that scares me yet excites me at the same time.  It's like as kid knowing that Christmas would come, but not having any concept of time, of how long I would have to wait for my presents.  Unlike Christmas though, the end times deal with eternity;  it's life or death, heaven or hell, and the bible teaches that it will be a terrible time here on earth.  Mark 13:19 says, "...those will be days of distress unequaled from the beginning, when God created the world, until now - and never to be equaled again."

Many people choose to ignore this part of the bible;  it's "scary" to think about.  I'm slightly scared of it too, but not because I fear "days of distress";  I'm scared for those who have rejected Jesus, or for those who never even considered Jesus before.  There are people I love dearly who don't know Him, and if the end were to come tomorrow  they would be left behind.  I know there are debates about when the rapture will take place in relation to the tribulation, etc;  I'm not going to pretend to have a voice in any of that...however it happens, I have always felt the desire to tell my unbelieving friends that if they wake up one day and part of the population is gone, don't believe the lies the world will tell you, Jesus Christ has called God's children home.  I would also want them to know that it's not too late for them;  my understanding is that many will come to know and accept Jesus during the time of tribulation.  Life will not be easy for those that do, but Eternal Life in heaven will be waiting for those who, "stand firm to the end" (Mark 13:12). 

The part of me that's not scared for my unbelieving friends is excited because I know that the End means the beginning of Eternity for me with My Father and My Savior.  I long for the day when there's no more tears, no more worry, or fear creeping into my life.  I long to worship Him forever, and I long to be forever in His Presence, free from the binds of sin and selfishness. 

It seems like each generation wonders if they are living in the "end times";  the bible says in Mark 13:32, "No one knows about that day, or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father."  The bible does give indications though of the "beginning of birth pains" for us to look for, and I can see how as time progresses and the condition of our world deteriorates, each generation can relate to the warning signs. 
What are the warning signs?  Mark 13 lays out some of them;  here are just a few:

Many will come in Jesus' name claiming "I am he", and many will be deceived

Wars, and rumors of wars

Nation will rise against nation

Earthquakes in various places

Famines

Do you think these apply to our generation?  Certainly in some ways, yes...though no one knows how long the labor will be, and I am not claiming to know anything other than this:  over and over Jesus warns us to "be on our guard". 

"Watch out that no one deceives you." Mark 13:3

"You must be on your guard." Mark 13:9

"So be on your guard; I have told you everything ahead of time." Mark 13:23

"Even so, when you see these things happening, you know that it is near, right at the door." Mark 13:29

"Be on guard! Be alert! You do not know when that time will come." Mark 13:33

"Therefore keep watch because you do not know when the owner of the house will come back..."Mark 13:35

"If he comes back suddenly, do not let him find you sleeping.  What I say to you, I say to everyone: 'Watch!'"  Mark 13:36

Are you "on guard", or have you been "sleeping"?  Many people don't want to talk much about the End Times;  it is an unknown in many ways, but we can be sure of this...  Jesus clearly tells us to keep our eyes open, and to be ready at all times.  If it came tomorrow would you be ready?  What if tomorrow everything you thought you knew changed?  Are you living a life pleasing to Your Father? 

Romans 13:11 says, "And do this, understanding the present time.  The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed.  The night is nearly over; the day is almost here.  So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.  Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy.  Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature." 

My mom always used to tell me, "nothing good happens after midnight...";  it was her justification for why my curfew was 11:00pm while living under her roof.  Did you see what those verses say?  Maybe she wasn't far off...  It tells us to "put aside the deeds of darkness...", and what it lists accurately describes what happens in certain places during the night.  "Night is nearly over" though, and Jesus tells us to "Watch!", to "be on our guard";  it's time to "clothe yourself with the Lord Jesus Christ" because we don't know the day or the hour, but we can recognize the birth pains, and there's no denying that they are here. 

Don't let Him catch you sleeping;  wake up and get back on track...it's not too late.  If you've been living in the darkness, come into the light;  forgiveness and love are abundant in the family of God, and He is waiting with open arms to draw you back in.  Don't wait, don't gratify the sinful nature, but rather "Watch!", and be ready for Him who is coming to call us home.