More of You

I used to live in the shadows of God's glory.  I used to sit in a corner and observe His work in the lives of people around me;  I desired Him, and I've always believed in Him, but I never really knew Him until this year. 
Until this year I used be jealous of people who were so obviously full of His Spirit;  the overwhelming joy that some people find in Him was lost on me, and frankly it was a bit grating to my own wavering spirit.  I was envious, and annoyed at the same time;  I knew that I was missing a key component of this "Christian" thing, but it seemed altogether unobtainable to me.  I lived in the world, and only once in a while would I step into His Presence.  Convenience ruled my schedule; I gave the world my best, and I gave God the leftovers.  The problem was I knew that it was wrong, I knew that there was more to the Christian life than what I was experiencing, but I was too self-centered and lazy to try. 

God got a hold of me this year.  He opened my eyes and He showed me that there is, indeed, so much more to life when we choose to put Him at the center. 

When I think of the jealousy, and truly, the contempt that I used to feel towards those I deemed "good Christians", I am ashamed.  God doesn't ask me to compare myself to others, and He tells me not to covet what other's have.  His word tells me that He will provide for all of my needs, and all I have to do is ask, trust, believe, and commit my way to Him. 

The catch is that satan tells us lies all the time;  he is the King of Lies.  He likes to whisper in our ears, "You deserve better than that...", "You'll never been good enough...", "They are all just hypocrites;  don't waste your time...", etc, etc.  He will say anything to get you to give up, to get you to be jealous and full of contempt, and he will say whatever it takes to turn you away from the One who loves you more than anything, the One who's love for you is everlasting and unwavering.  He will say anything to turn you into what he wants you to be, not what God longs for you to be. 

Satan used to tell me that I was just not blessed with the ability to be a "good Christian",  he used to tell me that I could fake it and I could settle for mediocre, and that joy just wasn't my thing.  Lies, all lies. 

In Romans 7:21-25 Paul says this, "So I find this law at work:  When I want to do good, evil is right there with me.  For in my inner being I delight in God's law, but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members.  What a wretched man I am!  Who will rescue me from this body of death?  Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord!" 

The law of sin and the lies of satan are powerful, but truly, Jesus can rescue us from them. 

So how do we do that?  How do we overcome the cycle of lies, and free our feet from the ties of this world?  It starts with an intentional choice.  It is a choice to not listen to the lies, and to not give in no matter what;  it's a choice to cling to God's truth even when it seems impossible, or out of our reach. 

Next comes a choice to give your time to Him.  This a choice to surrender your time, your agenda, and your heart to Him.  This is not easy, but when you commit to it, your life will change.  If you want to really know God, and to really grasp the life He wants for you, surrender is essential. 

Many people start things with good intentions and then fizzle out as life gets crazy and as obligations pop up;  be sure of this:  when you choose to give your time to God, satan will do everything he can to take it back and to dissuade you from sticking to it.  I daily pray for God's protection over my time with Him;  I pray for His Spirit to guard my mind against the attacks of satan during prayer, and I pray that my children will be content to not interrupt me while I have my time with Him. 

Getting on track with any relationship, including your relationship with God, requires you to invest time, energy, and attention to that other person.  What has worked for me has been a reading schedule for my bible;  it has giving me a structure to follow, a checklist of sorts; when I cross off the chapters as I read them I am more and more motivated to get through them all.  The more read, the more I learn about God;  the more I learn about Him, the more I love Him.  I find that reading my bible naturally leads to prayer.  As the Word of God fills my heart and my head I enter into conversation with Him, and in that time I grow closer to Him, and my thirst for more of Him gets stronger and stronger. 
The next thing that happens is that I commit everything to Him.  I understand that He is All Powerful, All Loving, and All Seeing;  He provides for my every need, and I lack nothing when I am in His Presence.  I have found that joy in Him is within reach, and  is more that easily obtainable when I take the focus off of myself, and off of my circumstances, and just try. 

It is obtainable for you too.  If you've ever listened to the lies of the evil one, or if you just could never quite figure out how to step fully out of the world and into His Presence here is it:

1. Commit to reading the bible everyday...don't waver, don't give up.

2. Pray...for protection over your mind, your time, your focus, and against the lies that satan will tell you.

3. Commit your way to the Lord...surrender it all, and pray for strength to cling to His truth.  Believe fully that with Him all things are possible.

4.  Lastly, humble yourself before Him.  James 4:10 says, "Humble yourself before the Lord, and He will lift you up." 

Do you want a full life?  A life free of jealousy, and anger over what others have that you want?  Humble yourself before His throne...and God will provide for you. 


This song has become one of my favorites recently.  We are in this world to shine for Him;  God calls us to be His light, so don't let Satan tell you otherwise.  We are the light; He is the light.  Don't sit in the shadows, step into His Glory.

 

God desires to have you...all of you.  He is jealous for you;  He wants to fill you with His joy.  Let Him.  Don't settle for mediocre;  jump full on into the life He has for you, and bask in the joy that only He can give;  the joy that is blind to the circumstances this life throws at us.  In Him there is no fear;  in Him we are made complete. 

Pray diligently for more of Him in your life, and do everything you can to protect yourself from the king of liars, the evil one of this world.  You are worth so much more than you can imagine to the One who died for you;  don't give in and don't give up.  The evidence of His grace in your life is everywhere;  open your eyes to it, and give thanks to Him. 

Satan seeks to make you feel like your life is worthless, but cling to this:  God made us for more than this world.  The scriptures say, "Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." 
If you are telling yourself there's no point, that true life in Christ is unobtainable for you...wake up!  Those are the lies of the evil one, and you were made for more than that. 

Can I Get a Witness?

My heart has been rejoicing lately.  God has been teaching me the true power of prayer, and as I meditate of Him, and His answers to my heart's desires I cannot help but to be overcome with peace and joy. 

Psalm 28: 7 says this, "The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped.  My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to Him in song."

Psalm 30: 11-12 say this, "You turned my wailing into dancing; You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to You and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give You thanks forever."

Psalm 34: 1-3 say this, "I will extol the Lord at all times; His praise will always be on my lips.  My soul will boast in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and rejoice.  Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt His name together!"

I desire to worship Him, to rejoice in Him, and to glorify Him.  Will you join me? 
Will you testify to the power of prayer, and of His grace, faithfulness, and mercy in your life? 

Give thanks to Him! 

Please leave a comment and let's lift His name higher as we testify to His goodness and glory...



Thank you Father that You have met each of my needs as You have restored our family, and have let Your love and mercy rest on our home. 

Facing the Giant

Whenever someone asks me about my husband's job, or his schedule, my answer is almost always followed by them saying, "How do you do that?", or "I could never do that!", or "You must be such a strong woman!", or "That must be so hard!"

My husband is away more than he's home;  it's just the way it is, and while there are days, or sometimes weeks, that are really difficult, somehow the kids and I make it through...one day at a time.  You see, God has an amazing way of giving us exactly what we need for each and every day.  Some days there is nothing left at the end of it, but His mercy is new every morning.  For forty years the Israelites awoke to manna from heaven to feed them, so too I awake each day with my fill to get me from sunrise to sunrise.  That's how I do it;  step by step with faith knowing that today, and only today, is what matters. 

I meet with a small group of military wives once a week while our husbands are away.  We've been focusing our discussions on the book of James, and for the past few weeks we've been really meditating on faith and deeds;  how the blending of our beliefs and actions attest to the faith we have in our Savior.  James 2:26 says, "As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead." 
This doesn't mean that without action we don't really have salvation;  it just means that without action we can't produce fruit, we can't sow seeds, and while we are still attached to the body, we're not much good to it. 

Throughout this discussion we started talking about examples of faith in the Bible.  A question was posed asking what man or woman of faith was our favorite example from the Word.  I was stumped for a while, and as the roll call of names started filing through my mind I thought, "How in the world can you pick just one???"  Reading Hebrews 11 alone you have more than a handful of amazing examples of faithful men and women to choose from.  I was bothered by having to pick one (not that I had to, but the question was out there, and I wanted to answer it), but then I realized that David kept coming to my mind. 

In Hebrews 11 David is listed among those the author "didn't have time to tell about...", but as faithful nonetheless.  Let me tell you what David means to me, and why he is the answer to my favorite example of faith as it applies to my life. 

David was a shepherd boy who was chosen by God and anointed by Samuel to one day become the king.  God had his hand on David from the beginning, and as David's life unfolds throughout scripture we see that he was very human, and very faithful.  I am amazed at David's heart of praise for God;  in the victories, in the midst of battles, and in the throes of sin and its consequences David's faith never wavered.  There were times that He felt God's face turn from him, but even then he held on and praised His Name.  I love it, but my favorite part of his story comes when he was just a boy. 

We tell our kids the Sunday School version of David and Goliath;  there's a cute little song about it, and there is a VeggieTales version of it where David is an asparagus and Goliath is a big pickle.  We down play it and over-talk it, but have you ever stopped to think of that little boy standing in front of that gigantic, fearsome man, preparing to fight to the death?  I know for me, I often don't think of these biblical figures as real flesh and blood people;  they are stories, and I am so far removed from that time in history that they almost seem like fairy tales, but they're not.  Those people in those stories were really;  they were just like you and me.  They had feelings and fears;  they loved and they despised.  They felt pain, they felt cold and heat, and they breathed in and breathed out the same as me and you. 

In 1 Samuel 16 we read of Samuel anointing David;  when Samuel was searching for God's chosen one (David) the Lord said to him, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him (speaking of David's older brother).  The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.  Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."  As soon as Samuel saw David he knew that David was "the one" despite his age or small size. 

A short while later the Philistines came to wage war on the Israelites;  the two armies occupied hillsides facing one another.  Imagine the tension that was building between these two;  the hatred, the waiting... 

The bible says Goliath was over nine feet tall;  he was clothed in armor from head to foot.  Goliath boldly paraded in front of the Israelites for forty days, and for forty days he tormented them.  They were at a standstill;  the Philistines knew no one could defeat Goliath.  They had it in the bag, and yet they waited, and waited.  The bible says that every morning the armies would line up and face each other; Goliath would step forward and Israel would cower.  Here was a people who God had protected and gone before over and over and over again, yet they still feared; they still didn't trust Him. 

Who would've known that on the fortieth day David would enter the camp?  When Samuel had anointed David the bible says in 1 Samuel 16:13 that, "from that day on the Spirit of the Lord came upon David in power."   With God's Spirit, David was bold in his actions, and he never doubted that he and his people were squarely in the palm of God's hand. 

David came to the camp that day to deliver food to the Israelites, and to check up on his brothers;  he was too young to join the army, and he had stayed home to tend to the sheep while his brothers were away.  He arrived just as the armies were lining up, and in his excitement he ran to the battles lines to see his brothers.  It was at that moment that Goliath appeared across the valley, and it was at that moment that the whole of the Israelite army ran in fear from this giant of a man.  As David set out to discover who this giant was and just why no one was willing to stand up to him, he found himself in the tent of King Saul:  "David said to Saul, 'Let no one lose heart on account of this Philistine; your servant will go and fight him.'  Saul replied, 'You are not able to go out against this Philistine and fight him; you are only a boy, and he has been a fighting man from his youth.' But David said to Saul,'....the Lord who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear (while tending sheep) will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.'"

David, small as he was, was confident that God would deliver him;  while grown men cowered, this young boy stood up.

Saul tried to clothe David in armor, and respectfully David declined;  he took his shepherd's staff, a sling and five little stones, and stood before Goliath.  Goliath taunted him, dismissed him, and threatened to feed his flesh to the birds.  David stood his ground.  I imagine in that moment he had fluttering inside of him. I think of the father in Mark chapter 9 who said to Jesus, "I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief!"  David trusted in the one true God, but he was a human boy with human feelings;  he wasn't a fairy tale character devoid of emotion yet he stood there boldly with God by his side. God gave him the power and the belief to overcome fear. Seeing David's boldness Goliath was enraged; in his fury he started to run towards David.  David took one stone, put it in his sling, heaved it at the giant, and killed him.  He didn't have armor, he didn't have a sword, he didn't have an army with shields and weapons of every kind backing him up;  he had a stone, a sling, and the God of Israel on his side...that's it. 

I love David;  I love that when everyone else cowered away he stood up and fought.  He was just boy, but God's spirit was with him, and with that nothing was impossible for him. 

My friends and I are facing a giant right now.  In just a few weeks our husbands will leave on an extended deployment.  What that means is that the usual six month deployments that we are used to is not what we're facing.  We're looking at about 9 months without our husbands;  while our community has it "easy" compared to some in the military, that's still an incredibly long time to be away from your loved one;  that's still an incredibly long time for 3 little boys to be missing their daddy.  It's a giant, and it's standing there before us just waiting...  We're at a stand still; when our husbands return home next week we will have a short reprieve before we step across that valley and come face to face with the inevitable. 

On my own I'm not strong enough, but the Holy Spirit is with me in power, and though I'm small and I'm weak He is more than strong enough to walk me (and all of my friends and our husbands) through each and every day that we are apart. 
That's my giant; it's glaring, it's taunting, and it's not going away until we deal with it head on.  That's the way giants are;  they're ugly, they're fearsome, and they'll overcome you if you let them. 

Are you facing a giant right now?  Are you confident with where you stand?  Is your faith strong enough to enable you to step forward when everyone else steps back?  Do you trust that each day God will provide you with at you need? 
If not, check yourself, get on your knees and have a conversation your Savior; He is the giver of strength. You may not have an army who's got your back, you may be alone as you stand before your Goliath, and on your own you may be completely under equipped to fight any battle, but when you put your complete trust and faith in the one true God, and step out to fight the fight He has called you to...it's in the bag.  Face your giant with the boldness that comes from your God who's power is made perfect in your weakness. 

You are my King and my God,

who decrees victories for Jacob.

Through you we push back our enemies;

through your name we trample our foes.

I do not trust my bow,

my sword does not bring me victory;

but you give us victory over our enemies,

you put our adversaries to shame.

In God we make our boast all day long,

and we will praise your name forever.

Psalm 44:4-8

Psalm 42

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.

My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.

When can I go and meet with God?

My tears have been my food day and night,

while men say to me all day long,

"Where is your God?"

These things I remember as I pour out my soul:

how I used to go with the multitude, leading the procession to the house of God,

with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng.

 

Why are you downcast, O my soul?

Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God,

for I will yet praise Him,

my Savior and my God.

 

My soul is downcast within me;

therefore I will remember you from the land of Jordan,

the heights of Hermon - from Mount Mizar.

Deeps calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls;

all your waves and breakers have swept over me.

 

By day the Lord directs his love,

at night his song is with me -

a prayer to the God of my life.

 

I say to God my Rock,

"Why have you forgotten me?

Why must I go about mourning,

oppressed by the enemy?"

My bones suffer mortal agony and my foes taunt me,

saying to me all day long,

"Where is your God?"

 

Why are you downcast, O my soul?

Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God,

for I will yet praise Him,

my Savior and my God.

Obedience

Before I had children, I was the kind of person who would judge those who did have children. I would look at those moms with their screaming, out of control kids and think, "My child will never...(fill in the blank).." Even after we had our oldest son, I still had those thoughts because he was so easy, and I honestly couldn't understand why some mothers just couldn't handle it.
God has a way of breaking us in our judgments, and I learned a big lesson when Micah was born. I have talked about Micah's unique personality in earlier posts, but here's the recap: he was the most difficult child to ever grace this earth (in my biased opinion). When God blesses us with stubborn, strong-willed children all of our judgment of others flies out the window, and we are left wrestling a screaming, thrashing child as we silently pray for God to deliver us from whatever situation we are facing at that moment.
When Micah was younger I left so many places with him tucked under my arm, screaming away; many times tears where rolling down my cheeks as time after time my strength was tested both physically and emotionally. I never gave up trying to do fun things, but more often than not we spent our days at home having left a friend's house or the park early because of a meltdown.
That was the way I chose to handle it; when he melted down down, we picked up and left...there was no reward of the park, or playing with friends if there was disobedience. Did that mean that my older son and I missed out on some things? Yes, but that's what it took to teach Micah, so that's what we did.
As time passed, Micah learned that the good things disappeared when his behavior was bad, and slowly, we were able to do more and more outside of our home. Today, he is an amazing boy, still stubborn and still loud, but kind and generous with his love and encouragement; there are days you can find him sitting in his bed pouting because he lost control of himself and is in time out, but overall he has learned that rewards come when he is obedient.
The journey was long, but the boy that he is today proves that the sacrifices, the tears, and my trusting in God's peace and patience was well worth it.
 
My journey through Leviticus is winding down, and this morning as I started on chapter 26 I knew that I would have to share it with you. The title of the first part of the chapter is "Reward for Obedience". I loved it, and I am continually amazed at what God is teaching me about himself through His word.
 
 

"Do not make idols or set up an image or a sacred stone for yourselves, and do not place a carved stone in your land to bow down before it. I am the Lord, your God.

Observe my Sabbaths and have reverence for my sanctuary. I am the Lord.

If you follow my decrees and are careful to obey my commands, I will send you rain in its season, and the ground will yield its crops and the tress of the field their fruit. Your threshing will continue until grape harvest and the grape harvest will continue until planting, and you will eat all the food you want and live in safety in your land.

I will grant peace in the land, and you will lie down and no one will make you afraid. I will remove savage beasts from the land, and the sword will not pass through you country. You will pursue your enemies, and they will fall by the sword before you. Five of you will chase a hundred, and a hundred of you will chase ten thousand, and your enemies will fall by the sword before you.

I will look on you with favor and make you fruitful and increase your numbers, and I will keep my covenant with you. You will still be eating last year's harvest when you will have to move it out to make room for the new. I will put my dwelling place among you, and I will not abhor you. I will walk among you and be your God, and you will be my people. I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt so that you would no longer be slaves to the Egyptians; I broke the bars of your yoke and enabled you to walk with heads held high."

 
So what does that have to do with us or my strong-willed child? God spoke these words to the Israelites, and they were very literal; when they obeyed Him he sent rain, He fought battles for them, the fruit of their trees and the crops in their fields were abundant. God rescued them from slavery in Egypt and literally broke them free from their bars; they were His people whom He called to live for Him within the frame work of His laws.

Because God can see the big picture at all times, there should be no surprise that He spoke these words for us as well. Many of us don't build alters and bow down to stones, but we do have idols, don't we? We don't always respect His church and we've allowed our sinful nature to invade our worship of Him...we do these things, and more; we struggle within ourselves between this world and His word...we all do.  We break his commandments time after time after time… But...if we choose Him, if we take our stand in this world for His glory, He promises to bring rain when we need it, and He promises that our lives will be fruitful, and that He will give us more than enough to meet our needs. Following Him doesn't mean we won't face trouble in this world, but when we obey His commands He will go before us and fight the battles that are impossible for us to fight on our own. When we chose Him, He dwells in us; as our obedience increases His presence in our life increases. We will never be empty; we will all have our fill when we choose Him. I love, I love, I love the last part of verse 12: "I broke the bars of your yoke, and enabled you to walk with heads held high." That's what Jesus did for us. He broke our bond with sin; we are no longer slaves of this world, and we can walk with our heads held high praising Him and giving glory to Him through every blessing and every trial because it all works together for our good when we choose Him.
 
There is punishment for disobedience; there is separation from His goodness when we choose to turn from Him. Chapter 26 goes on to talk about this, and about what that looked like in the lives of the Israelites; the punishment is the direct opposite of the rewards, but here's the good part: it says that if we confess our sins He will remember the covenant He has made with us.  There will be consequences of our sin, but because of Jesus, and through His death and resurrection, our punishment has been paid. Consequences can be difficult, and confession is so hard to do sometimes, but we will miss out on His blessing if we choose disobedience.  He promises to love us and forgive us, and little by little when we begin to choose Him again we can start to see His rewards, and see that He is good.
 
We are all strong-willed, stubborn children at times; we all kick and scream and fight with the Father who loves us so much. We want our way, and we want it on our own terms; little by little we learn that life just doesn't work that way. We are called, just like little children, to a life of obedience; many of us learn the consequences of disobedience over and over again, but God calls to us and says, "Choose Me! ... My yoke is easy, and burden is light!" With Him we can hold our heads up high, knowing that He dwells with us, and that we are more than conquerors with Him by our side. 

As I think back on the early years of hardship, training and raising Micah, I see myself as a child of God.  I’ve been stubborn,  and I have turned from Him in the past;  in those moments the lessons were hard, and the reward was not there.  Choosing Him is a choice, and the more we buck His commandments, the farther we get from Him; choosing the world is deliberately not choosing Him. 
 
I was thinking about how this lesson can be applied individually and collectively in our lives.  It really speaks to every level of life.  God is the Maker and Creator of all; individually we are to choose Him, as families we are to choose Him, and as a nation we are to choose Him.  Disobedience on any level has consequences for us all.  I am so saddened by the condition of our nation…a nation who at its core was founded on Biblical principles.  That’s another blog for another day, but as our leaders kick and scream and turn their faces from our Creator in the name of protecting rights that were made up by men and abhorred by our Lord, we shouldn’t be surprised that the reward has left us, and that we are missing out on the great blessings that are set aside for those that choose Him. 
 
If we choose obedience as individuals, maybe we can start to change the disobedience in our nation, and maybe, just maybe, as our obedience increases His presence will increase as well. 
 
 

 

It's Friday...

Our church showed this video this morning...

I think it is pretty powerful and wanted to share it. 

No matter what you are facing right now, and no matter how hopeless some things in our world may seem, remember that Sunday is coming...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sometimes when my words fail me, I look to those who have gone before...

"But amid all my sorrows, disappointments, losses, and crosses I have felt that I had a God to go to who has supported me out of His inexhaustable fullness, and His good Spirit has caused my mind to soar above all the waves of trouble in this transitory world, and with faith to view that glorious land of rest beyond this valley of tears." 

Eleazer Sherman 1821

Remember that this life is a journey; though heartache and trouble can threaten to destroy us, as believers we can rise above it all with faith that there is more to life than what we can see.  Turn to God in everything, and He will help you "to soar above all the waves of trouble in this transitory world";  He will give you a new outlook...a heavenly perspective. 

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.

For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:18

Wait for it...

Every morning I start the day by pulling up the shades in my bedroom and looking out over my little garden.  I previously wrote about the sunflowers I planted by our picket fence;  one of my tiny seeds has now grown into an eight foot tall, magnificent stem with a gigantic flower just waiting to burst forth.  Some of the other stems are smaller, but just as amazing to me.  I look eagerly each day to see if it might be the day those glorious, golden petals open up.  This is what I saw today...

One of the biggest lessons I have learned in my short gardening experience is that it takes patience.  Things don't happen immediately, but every little leaf that grows, and every little flower that is produced is a miracle; they are a piece in accomplishing the bigger picture.  My little sprouts that started off with two tiny leaves, are now on the verge of becoming what they were always meant to be. 

I received a letter recently from a man fifty years my senior.  I have never met this man, but what he wrote me was a letter of encouragement to spur me on to become exactly what God desires for me to be.  The gentleman who wrote it is incredibly intelligent, wise, and very accomplished in both the field of education and religion; I am flattered that he has read anything that I have written, and I am honored to be able to learn more about God's character from him.  I wanted to share part of what he wrote to me with you;  it is a beautiful description of God's timing, and as I marvel at my sunflowers, and as I reflect on the fact that everything happens in His perfect time, these words stick with me each day, and they have blessed me tremendously.

Once I uncovered a definition of prayer that stayed with me: By prayer God disposes us in time to receive what He had planned to give us from all eternity.  To many people, that idea looks foolish and even cowardly, but to those who are willing to surrender and wait God emerges as silently and explosively as the sunrise.

 

 

 

I love the imagery of God emerging both silently and explosively at the same time;  something wells up inside of me and brings me to verge of tears as I reflect on what that has looked like in my own life.   

Looking at my sunflower today with it's one little golden petal sticking up, and seeing the rest just waiting for the perfect time to pop open, I saw my life as a child of God.  Slowly he grows us, teaches us,  and clothes us with wisdom.  Slowly, when we are faithful to Him, He reveals Himself; silently divulging one petal at a time until suddenly there we are...gazing upon our Creator in all of His glory, and in that moment we discover who we were meant to be all along. 

 

God's timing is perfect, and as imperfect beings we sometimes get impatient with His schedule, but when we intentionally choose Him, and when we sit back and wait for Him to emerge, He shows us His beauty and enables us, as believers, to reflect that beauty to the rest of the world. 

 

Every leaf is a miracle, and every petal is a part of the bigger picture;  silently and explosively God appears when we surrender and put our faith in Him...just wait for it...

 

 

 

I am still confident of this:  I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. 

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Psalm 27:13-14

The To-Dos, and the Must-Do...

My to-do list is quite long right now, and every day it keeps getting longer. School activities, housework, play dates, etc., etc. The list literally never ends; as it evolves and multiplies I accomplish one thing, and then add five more. Life is busy, and the more we allow it to be busy, the busier it will get. We can add so much to our day, and we can fill every little unit of time until we don't even know who we are anymore; we can become defined by our so called "commitments".

I have had no time lately to sit, relax, and enjoy the life God has given me. I'm a mom with three busy boys, I have a husband who's schedule is insanely unpredictable right now, and I have the responsibility of running a house, managing everything that comes in and goes out, and maintaining some sort of order in the chaos of it all. I have had no time in the last week and a half to spend worshiping, growing, and furthering my relationship with my Savior. This morning as I was reading my bible (something I admittedly haven't done in a few days), I felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit on my heart.

I am still working my way through Leviticus, and while most of it is proving to be slightly dull, I find that I'm learning quite a bit about God's nature through it all. Leviticus is basically a guide book that was given to Moses regarding God's laws for the Israelites; it lays out, in much detail, how the Israelites were to rightly live for God, the role of the priests, the rules of the temple, and the rituals of sacrifice, etc. God is holy, and therefore when His people came to Him they were required to do it in a certain way.

What is jumping out to me about it all is that everything was so intentional, so orderly; every ritual, sacrifice, and cleansing took time, and it was all for the purpose of staying right in the sight of God, to live according to His will. Following God's law required that the Israelites took their time and gave the best of what God had given them back to Him.

As I said in my last post, we aren't required to sacrifice animals as atonement for our sins anymore; we don't have priests that declare us clean or unclean; we have Jesus Christ who became the ultimate and permanent sacrifice for our sins. When we believe in Him, in His crucifixion and resurrection, when we put our faith in Him, and when we confess our sins and lay them at the foot of the cross, His blood covers over them; we are clean in God's eyes when through Christ's blood we are forgiven. We don't have sacrifice rituals, and we don't have a curtain that separates us from God; we can come before Him at any time, we can approach His throne, and we can commune with Him in a very deep and spiritual way, but we need to give back to Him the best of what He has given to us. He requires our time; relationship with Him takes an investment on our part. I love that about Leviticus; I am in awe of the purposefulness of God's people. God required holiness from unholy humans, and He gave them very practical, very detailed ways of approaching Him. Wow... I'm wondering why today when we have a Savior and a God who are so accessible to us on a day to day basis we turn our backs on them. Why is it that the freedom we've inherited through the blood shed on the cross is something we so easily give away to the world instead of to Him? God longs for relationship with His creation, His children made in His likeness; He longs for it so much that He sacrificed His Son to give us a way to freely come to Him.

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13). God laid down the life of His one and only Son, and whoever simply believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16).

He gave everything to bridge the gap, and to allow us to approach Him and live for Him; in return He asks for faith, and for time to grow us, mold us, and use us for His glory. Is that so hard?

As I sit here typing, the roll call of to-dos are making laps through my mind, but my one and only "must do" is coming first right now. In Matthew 22:37 Jesus says that the greatest commandment is this: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." That's it, the first and greatest commandment, everything else can wait while you figure out how to do exactly that. It will take your time, and the best of what you have, but in return you'll gain peace and the wisdom to handle all of the other "to-dos". I'm not sure why I keep having to learn this lesson over and over again, but each time it rings truer and truer.

Are you giving back to God the best that He has given to you? Do you give Him priority, or do you just squeeze Him in when you can? I challenge you to put Him first, and to trust Him completely with your time, your energy, and your attention. When you do that, when you intentionally and purposefully serve Him, you will be blessed in ways you can't even begin to imagine.

 

 

An Aroma Pleasing to the Lord

We have had a busy few weeks in our house; my husband is home for a short time, the kids have gotten into a routine at school, and I am figuring out a new nap and eating schedule with the little man. I have been consistent in my quiet times, in reading the bible, but finding time to really dig deep, meditate on it, and write about it has been tough.

This morning my routine was a bit off, and what I would  have normally done during breakfast time I am just now getting around to at lunch time. I knew that I had to make time to spend in the Word, so I forced myself (yes, forced because some days are just like that...) to sit down with my bible and my reading guide; I was reluctant because really I have so many things I could be doing right now. I'm in the middle of painting our living room, there are dishes in the sink, laundry that needs to be folded, a bathroom that really should be cleaned, and on top of it all my body is fighting some sort of bug that causes really bad headaches and a slight fever. I had a ton of excuses why I couldn't make time for God today; life so easily fills every moment, and it is amazing how quickly we can put Him on the back burner.

I opened up the reading guide hoping for something easy; a psalm or two would be great today. It wasn't a psalm though; what I saw on my list was Leviticus 1-2. Seriously? I've never read Leviticus, and truthfully I didn't want to start this morning, but I'm a rule follower and though I know, technically, I don't have to follow my guide, I choose to follow it each day, and today was no different.

The end of the introduction of Leviticus in my bible says this, "As you read this book, some of it may seem dull and boring. But think about how holy God is, how He wants you to serve Him in every part of your life and in all you do."
When a book is described as "dull and boring" do you really want to read it? Of course not, but what struck me is that it challenged me to think about how God wants me to serve Him in everything I do. You see, that has been my prayer recently; I want to obey and follow Him in every situation. I want to walk in His will, and be pleasing to Him; glorifying Him in everything I do.

Huh. With an open mind I started to read...

The first several chapters of the book are dedicated to the instructions God gave Moses regarding offerings; true to my guide I only read the first two chapters, but He is already speaking to me, and showing me that I can still learn even when something is deemed "dull and boring".

The offerings the Israelites brought to God were made on the alter in the temple. At the end of every description of the way the offering should be prepared Moses writes these words, "...an offering made by fire, an aroma pleasing to the Lord."
In the first two chapters alone Moses writes six times about this "aroma" that is "pleasing to the Lord"; when something is repeated in the bible several times, I have to think it's because it is an important point.
 Some may say that Leviticus wasn't written for our modern world, that we don't offer burnt sacrifices anymore. It is true that as Christians today we don't sacrifice animals on an alter to God, we don't have to offer "fine flour" and oil and incense because Christ came, and He became the ultimate sacrifice by dying on the cross. We are free because He became "the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!" (John 1:29). We don't physically kill something as a sacrifice to God anymore, but we can still produce "an aroma pleasing to the Lord."

Every time we lay down our struggles, our burdens, worries, temptations, weaknesses, sin nature, fears, humanness, etc., etc., at the foot of the cross, and every time we choose to obey, and choose to follow His leading no matter what the cost to our social, financial, physical life, etc., we are offering up to God a pleasing aroma. When we take the best of what we have, the first and greatest blessings God has given us, and when we lay them at His feet and raise our hands in offering to Him; when we ask Jesus to cover our sins with His blood, we are "an aroma pleasing to the Lord".

I didn't want to make time for God this morning, but I needed to; when we sacrifice our own desires, and give to God our time, He is pleased. When you chose to make time in your day to keep Him as your priority, He is pleased. When you take what you have, or what you think is important, and give it all to Him, He is pleased. When you die to yourself, your selfishness, and say, "God use me", you have become "an aroma pleasing to Him".

God doesn't ask us for burnt offerings, but He does ask us for our hearts, for our talents, for our time, and for our obedience.
I think my prayer has now become, "make me an aroma pleasing to You."

Next time you open your bible, don't discount Leviticus or some of the other books that may be considered "dull and boring";   God can, and does, speak through each one of them. 

"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword...”  Hebrews 4:12

 

Faith and Religion

A few years ago a good friend asked me if I could explain to her the difference between faith and religion. As I look back on that time now, I find that I am extremely disappointed with where I was in my faith. When she asked me that question, I wasn't able to answer her honestly; I gave her a cd of a sermon I had heard on the subject and that was the end of it. I love this friend very much, yet I have never once asked her what her convictions are, if she believes in God, or what she thinks will happen when she dies. Back then, I had religion and I went to church every Sunday, but my faith was lacking; it was something I kept to myself. Today my faith is something deep and true, it's something I'm excited to share, and I'm finally ready to give an answer to her very important question.

When I hear the word "religion" I think of stiff traditions; I think of doing things just to do them because they've always been done. I also think of rituals, and needing to perform them because somehow you think they will get you closer to God. For me personally, religion is thinking you can follow enough rules, go to enough church services, and check enough boxes in hopes that you will you pass some sort of test. Religion on its own means absolutely nothing; religion apart from faith is empty.

Religion is not necessarily a bad thing, but when rituals take the place of relationship, it is not beneficial. I go to church every week; I enjoy the fellowship and truly, I need it. Worshiping God in the presence of other believers keeps me accountable, it's a "spiritual checkup" of sorts for me, and I long for those precious hours in that sanctuary each week. Church is not what saves me though; baptism, though I have been baptized does not guarantee that I will be accepted into heaven; sharing in communion does not cleanse me from my sin. These traditions are things we do as an outward testament and remembrance of our Lord, but in and of themselves they are not necessary. What is necessary is faith, and yes, it is true that through faith you will most likely enter into some traditions, faith in Jesus is the pivotal key; apart from that, nothing else matters.

What is faith? To me, faith is relationship; it is becoming best friends with Jesus. Faith is believing in something, or someone you can't see. So how can you be best friends with someone you can't see? The beautiful mystery is that when you step out in faith, and put your trust in Him, His Spirit fills you, and you find that you don't have to physically see Him to truly feel Him. Faith is a choice I make each day. There are days that I fail miserably, but the big picture is that by faith I asked Jesus to save me, to free me from my sin, to forgive me, and to live in me as I live for Him. He is my Savior, and though religion will someday pass away, my faith in Jesus never will.

Faith will most certainly lead to action in my life; though works are not necessary for salvation, faith without action is not really faith at all (James 2:14). You see, when a believer truly lives a life of faith, it exudes into every part of their life; when you live by the Spirit and trust in His leading, you will find yourself doing works you never would have thought you would do. The thing we need to remember though is that no amount of action, works, or 'religion' will set us apart for eternity in heaven; salvation is a free gift, it is laden with love, and all that it requires is a heart willing to receive it (Ephesians 2:8-9).

God doesn't ask me to pray a specific prayer five times a day, he doesn't ask me to kneel in front of a statue, or to light a candle, and He doesn't tell me that, as a woman, I must wear a skirt instead of pants to worship Him... He just asks me to trust Him, to put my faith in Him, and to have a relationship with Him. He gave His life for me, for you, and for all who believe and trust in Him. It's a free gift open to all who are willing; are you willing?

Faith is the air that gets me through each day; that's how I describe it in my own life. Without religion I would get by, but without faith I would be lost; without faith there is death and more death, but with faith there is life and more life (Romans 6:23, James 1:12).

This world seeks to bring people down; wealth is empty, sin is rampant, and evil intent seeps through every crevice it can. What is true? Who is trustworthy? What is love? Forgiveness? Where is hope found? What is the meaning behind this life? What lies after death? Religion alone can't answer these questions. If you want to have peace, have trust, and find hope, turn to Jesus and begin a life of faith in Him.

My faith is in Jesus Christ, and the more time I spend with Him, talking, listening, and reading His word, the more His love pours out of me.

Life on this earth is fleeting and empty without faith, but the life of faith is rich, and full, and eternal.

Living by faith will fill you with hope and love; faith doesn't promise that life will be easy, in fact it may even be harder, but when you put your life in Jesus' hands He will bring you peace and see you through each and every trial.

Religion is temporary; faith and life in Jesus is eternal.

I've discovered something very important this year: If I truly believe that eternity is real, if I honestly believe in heaven and hell, and if I really am living a life of faith in Jesus, I have to share it. God has put people in my life for a reason, and in every relationship and every situation that comes my way, by faith I should exclaim who He is. I have failed to do that so many times in the past, and I will most likely fail here and there in the future, but as I grow closer to Him and as my faith gets stronger, His strength fills me and His voice within me is getting louder and louder. I want my friend to know that my faith is who I am, it really is what defines me; I'm not perfect, and I do fail, but in the end Jesus forgives my failures, He picks me up, dusts me off, and leads me forward.

What do you believe in? Where do you put your faith? Where is your hope found? Do you want to live a life of love? Do you believe there is more to this life than what you can see? Can you feel eternity in your heart?

Seek Jesus, and you will find the answers and the peace that your heart is longing for.

 

Giving Thanks for the Victories

It's a Monday night, I just got my kids in bed, and all is quiet in our house.  I'm exhausted from battling a cranky, napless 21 month old all afternoon, and I'm still a week away from seeing my husband again.  As I sit here, I have a feeling a peace washing over me;  God carried me through another day, and I am so thankful for that. 

Every once in a while at church I will hear something that sticks with me throughout the week;  it doesn't happen every week, but when it does it's like another little seed planted in my soul.  This week was one of those weeks.  Our pastor spoke on trust, and on how we are to "breathe spiritually";  we exhale all the impure air by confessing our sins as soon they happen, and we inhale God's spirit through faith.  I love that picture of breathing God in;  with each breath in we can be filled with Him, with each breath out we rid ourselves of unholiness.  When we trust in God and walk with Him, getting through trials in this life can be as easy as breathing;  it can be natural and automatic because there is a never-ending supply of His Spirit, and as Christians we need His Spirit in order to live. 

I really enjoyed the sermon, and as the pastor continued on and began to talk about how we should be prepared for conflict, he uttered these words, "If there are no battles, there will be no victories."  He said it so quickly in the course of his talk that it could have easily slipped through the cracks of my mind, but didn't, it stuck.  I thought about those words for a long time, and suddenly I started to thank God for the battles in my life because of this truth: the victories I have today would not have looked like victories if not for the battles I've come through. 

The biggest victory for me this year is that I still have a husband;  I am still in love with the man I married 11 years ago, and not only that but I love him more today that ever before!  Victory!  We have three amazing, healthy boys after we struggled for so long just trying to get pregnant, and after losing our first baby...there's victory in that!  We have a home, and my husband has a job when so many people at this point in time don't.  There are victories all around me, and though the battles can tough, we need to fight through them knowing that in end, with God by our side, victory will be ours! 

James 1:2-4 says, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." 

I fell in love with that verse this week.  In light of my new view of battles, the fact that perseverance MUST finish it's work so that I can be mature and complete is simply amazing to me.  We must walk through trials so that His work can be completed in us,  and so that we will not "lack anything". 

Psalm 30:11-12 says, "You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.  O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever." 

My heart is singing tonight because of the victories I have through my walk with God;  though battles have threatened to destroy me, I have found victory in Him and I will not be silent! 

Are you clothed with joy because of  the victories in your life?  Even if you are in the midst of battle right now, look around and see His work in your life...give thanks and praise to Him who will never leave you! 

Give thanks for the victories, and live by faith, trusting in Him to see you through.

When Your Walk Becomes a Crawl

In the 90's DC Talk release a song called "What if I Stumble".  The chorus says this:

 

"What if I stumble?  What if I fall?

What if I lose my way and I make fools of us all?

Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?

What if I stumble?  What if I fall?

 

What if I stumble?  What if I fall?

You never turn in the heat of if all

What if I stumble?  What if I fall?"

 

 

 

I've been thinking quite a bit lately about stumbling.  I've been meditating and praying about what redemption looks like for a believer who falls.  I know that when an unbeliever comes to Christ they are "born again", they repent, turn away from their "old self", and become a new creation in Christ.  What happens though when that "new creation" loses it's way?  Is it possible for someone who is "born again" to again be redeemed?   The answer that keeps rolling through my mind is, "Of course!" 

 

We are all sinners, right?  All of us; even those who have claimed Jesus as their Savior for years.  The beautiful, undeserving gift behind the cross is that every sin, no matter what it is or when it occurs, is covered by the blood that was shed there.  Thank you, Father! 

 

When our "walk becomes a crawl" does He turn away?  No!  Though we struggle through our sin, our emotions, and our choosing to separate ourselves from Him by our choices, He is still the same! 

 

Romans 8:38-39 says, "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." 

 

Nothing can separate us from Him;  He "never turns in the heat of it all". 

 

Someone I love very much is struggling with the feeling of not deserving God's love because of sin that was in their life;  it's a journey that they're on, a part of their life that they are crawling through.  God is faithful though, and no amount of time, or of hurt, or of anything else in this world will separate them from Him.  He is patient through the storm. 

 

I mention this because I struggle with Christians' reactions to sin in other Christians' lives.  We alienate each other when sin rears it's ugly head.  I have thought on this quite a bit lately, and the answer I keep getting is that we need to show "perfect love".  Perfect love is the kind of love that is tough when it needs to be, but merciful and gracious to a fault.  Sin isn't okay and it needs to be rooted out; sometimes a believer can be so wrapped up the tentacles of sin that they are almost unrecognizable, but underneath it all they are still a child of God and still deserving of love.  It's a delicate procedure, separating the believer from the sin, but when it happens and repentance comes, perfect love let's go of the past and in front of it sees only Christ's redeeming blood covering over God's beloved creation.  Perfect love shows mercy and grace; it forgives, forgets, and moves on in faith. 

That's the kind of love Christ gives us;  why is that so hard for us to give that to each other? 

 

I was reading in Luke this morning, and two verses caught my attention: 

 

"...there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent." Luke 15:7

 

"...there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents."  Luke 15:10

 

 

Heaven rejoices when a sinner repents;  it doesn't doubt his sincerity, or cautiously approach saying, "well, we'll see...":  Heaven REJOICES!  God doesn't call back into view the past;  He doesn't throw the sin of the man in the man's face...it's covered up by His Son's blood when that man places it at the foot of the cross.  It is finished. 

 

Perfect love loves at all times, even through the storm.  God doesn't "turn in the heat of it all", and neither should we. 

 

Last night I had a friend over for dinner.  I was making lasagna, and as I went to pull it out of the oven I lost my grip and suddenly hot spaghetti sauce, cheese, and noodles covered my kitchen floor.  It was a mess, and worst of all I no longer had dinner to offer my friend.   I looked up at her shocked face, and instantly we burst into laughter;  really what else can you do in these situations?  She pulled the trash can over and together we went to work cleaning up the mess I had made;  side by side, each naturally taking up a job in the process that needed to be done.  Soon the ill-fated dinner was in the trash, the kitchen was cleaned, and Plan B (chicken nuggets...for the kids) was in the microwave.  You see, life can be messy sometimes;  we can have a plan, but sometimes we just drop the lasagna.  As a family of believers, God doesn't tell us to sit back and point fingers while the one who lost his grip struggles to clean up the mess alone. He tells us to step in, come along side, and together clean it up.  You may not burst into laughter over it the situation, it may actually may cause many tears, but ultimately mercy and grace are to prevail.  That's the love of Christ. 

 

"Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?"  Christ's love will always continue;  His perfect love never changes.  If we are true Christ followers, we need to have that love for one another;  do not merely listen to the Word...do what it says.  (James 1:22)     

The truth is that none us deserve love; we all fail, but it's not about "deserving".  Love is a gift that we give to each other, freely.  In the end, we actually all deserve death, but "the GIFT of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus."  Praise be to God that He gave us the perfect example of perfect love.

Is someone that you love crawling through their spiritual life right now?  Love them, completely;  be tough when you need to be, but don't give up.  Sin is strong, but Christ's love is stronger.   

 



God has power over every situation, every illness, and every weakness.  By faith, and through prayer we can be set free!

My San Diego Girl

The closer I get to God, the more I see His work in my life on a daily basis, and the more I recognize the things in my past that have brought me to where I am today.  I believe God puts people and situations in our path everyday that are meant to test us and refine us;  sometimes we rise to the challenge, and sometimes we face the regret of opportunities missed...

If I close my eyes, I can see her face;  she is in her early 20's, my age back then.  She has light brown hair that is matted into dreadlocks;  she's wearing jeans, and a navy blue zip-up hoodie over a dark pink shirt.  She has the red strap of a cloth messenger bag running from her left shoulder to her right hip; it gently reveals the telltale bump as it crosses her abdomen.  In her hand she holds a cardboard sign that says:  Homeless, Pregnant, Help.  There was something about her that pulled at my heart;  I passed by her on my way to work everyday for about a month as she stood at a busy San Diego intersection.  One day she was gone, and 11 years later I'm still sitting here wondering what ever happened to her.  I'm haunted by her face, and by what I knew back then yet chose to ignore:  I was supposed to do something.
 
I know that God knows what we're going to do before we do it, and I know that He knew I wouldn't have it in me at that point in my life to pull over, and to figure out a way to help.  I was young, immature, and quite selfish, but I believe that God allowed my path to cross hers to teach me a lesson I will never forget.  It's not a lesson that I learned over night, but one that has become clearer as His Spirit has increased in me.  Back then, I skated by, only letting in as much of Him as I felt I needed;  today, my heart's door is wide open, and I continually ask Him to fill me. 

I believe that God puts opportunities in front of us through which He tests our faith;  He already knows where we are in relation to Him through His Spirit, but I look at these tests as self-evaluations...how would you grade yourself on matters of the Spirit?   11 years ago I would give myself a D- on that front;  I was at least able to feel the Spirit pulling, but feeling and doing are two very different things. 

I know that God forgave me for not helping my San Diego girl, but I hold her image in my head to remind myself not to miss an opportunity like that again. 

Let me stop here and say that I don't believe that you should throw all of your money or time at each and every person on the street;  there needs to be caution and responsibility in it, but when you're living by the Spirit you will be able to recognize the right way to handle each situation. 

Luke 6:30 says, "Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.  Do to others as you would have them do to you."

Matthew 5:42 says, "Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you."

Deuteronomy 15:11 tells us, "There will always be poor people in the land.  Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and needy in your land."

John 15:12 says, "Love one another as I have loved you."

James 1:22 says, "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says."

Give to everyone who asks??  Be openhanded??  Love one another completely...does that really include everyone???  Yes.  The bible doesn't say, "Help only those in your family", or "Help those who help you."  It clearly says "everyone", and it commands us to not just recognize those words, but to follow through in doing them. 

Had I made different choices in my life, I could have been that pregnant, homeless girl standing on a busy street corner;  by God's grace alone, my life is vastly different from that.  My hope is that someone did stop to help her; my hope is that whoever did so introduced her to Jesus, so that her and her little baby would find a better life in Him.  At that point in my life, I wasn't ready to do that; God knew that I wasn't yet He allowed me to feel the pull on my heart, and to feel the emotions that come in the wake of a missed opportunity.  

I was walking out of the grocery store this week when a man asked me for money, "A nickel?  A quarter?, " he said, "Anything would help..."  I did what I usually do in those situations: I put my head down, and muttered, "Sorry, I don't have any cash right now..."  I made it to my car before I once again recognized the familiar pull on my heart, "Do something," it said, "anything will help..."  I dug through my change tray, quickly found a few quarters, breathed in God's courage, and then approach the man in need.  He gratefully accepted my offering, and that was it;  I got in the car and drove home.  It was so simple, yet so powerful;  the work of the Spirit often is.  God's love doesn't have to be shown in huge, mountain moving ways; sometimes His love takes the shape of a few quarters from the change tray. 

Do you feel a pull on your heart to help someone?  To give grace, or money, or time?  That pull that you're feeling is the Holy Spirit in you.  When you allow Him to work in you and when you step out in faith to do even the smallest of things, His love will be glorified, multiplied, and magnified through you.  It's not your work, or your money, or your time...it's His, and through it He will bless you, and He will draw you even closer to him.  Don't miss the opportunity to do His work, to share His love, and to be His vessel of hope in this world. 

 I never want to forget the face of my San Diego girl;  though I never met her, she taught me quite a bit about myself and about who I want to be. 

Fire on the Mountain

A couple of years ago my husband and I were in the market to buy a house.  We would be first time homeowners, and we were so excited about the possibilities.  We looked at several, and put an offer in on the one that we thought would perfect for us;  the offer wasn't excepted, and after several counter-offers, it fell through; we were left disappointed and still looking.  In all of it, God knew that there was a better house for us;  it was a bigger house in a better neighborhood, and we fell in love with it at first sight.  It wasn't that it was perfect; it had been a rental property for years and the place hadn't been renovated since it was built in the 1970's, but that's why we loved it.  It was a clean slate for us.  It wasn't updated, so the price was well within our range, and at the closing we were given a check to help start the renovations that it needed.  Don't get me wrong, it was livable, but the pea green bathtub with the black tile walls around it had to go, as did the tack strips left around each room from a carpet that was pulled up at who knows what point.  We replaced all of the interior doors and the garage door, we built a new deck, got a new driveway, and replaced all of the windows.  The best part about our house is that it's ours to do all of those things with;  we got to pick it all and we got to put the work into it to make it become exactly what we wanted it to become.  One weekend my husband rented some equipment, bought paving stones and went to work laying a walkway from our driveway to the front door, and then from the front door to the backyard;  he did it all by himself and it's amazing.  We planted plants and trees, and fenced in the backyard;  it's a beautiful house on the side of a big hill with views of the water.  It's our home, and for a family who moves as much as we do it's a wonderful feeling to know that we have a place that belongs to us somewhere in this world. 

I was on my way to the grocery store yesterday morning with three screaming boys in the backseat when my phone rang; it was my husband who is away again for a while.  My happy greeting to him was met with these words, "There was a fire at the house this morning..." 

It was freak accident;  the power lines underground in our front yard surged.  The surge found the cable box and it ignited.  Fortunately, God had His hand on the situation;  our tenants had just returned home from vacation, and had they not been there the whole house would've gone.  They were there though, they all got out fine, and our house, while charred on the outside and in need of new electrical wiring underground, was preserved on the inside. 

We're working through the insurance and rental issues from a few thousand miles away; it's been a stressful 48 hours to say the least, but step by step we're getting through. 

In my continuing journey through Exodus, I read about another fire this week:  a heavenly fire. 

Moses led the Israelites to the Desert of Sinai;  they made camp of the foot of Mount Sinai.  It was here that God once again spoke directly to Moses;  it was here that God prepared Moses and the Israelites to receive His law, His commandments. 

"On the morning of the third day there was thunder and lightning, with a thick cloud over the mountain, and a very loud trumpet blast.  Everyone in the camp trembled.  Then Moses led the people out of the camp to meet with God, and they stood at the foot of the mountain.  Mount Sinai was covered with smoke, because the Lord descended on it in fire.  The smoke billowed up from it like smoke from a furnace, the whole mountain trembled violently, and the sound of the trumpet grew louder and louder.  Then Moses spoke and the voice of God answered him."  Exodus 19:16-19

 

 

As the story goes, Moses was called up to the top of the mountain and he was told to go get Aaron and bring him up as well, but the rest of the Israelites were not to come up or they would perish. God had put limits on His people, guidelines that they were to follow when approaching Him, when dealing with the fire. It was at this time that God spoke His Commandments. 

 

When I read this, I was struck by the line, "...because the Lord descended on it in fire."  I was struck not because of our own fire incident for I read this the day before that happened;  I was struck by it because of the power and the force that fire holds.  It was again yet another example to me of what it means to "fear the Lord".

Exodus 20:18-21 says this, "When the people saw the thunder and lightning and heard the trumpet and saw the mountain in smoke, they trembled with fear.  They stayed at a distance and said to Moses, 'Speak to us yourself and we will listen.  But do not have God speak to us or we will die.'  Moses said to the people, 'Do not be afraid.  God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning.'  The people remained at a distance, while Moses approached the thick darkness where God was."

 

God showed His power through thunder and lightning, smoke and fire;  it got the Israelites' attention.  It got my attention too, and it not only helped to illustrate the "fear of the Lord", but to me it also speaks to the term "refining fire". 

 

God came down to His people in fire, He directly spoke His laws to them;  He gave them guidelines to keep their hearts clean and to stay "right" with Him.  He told them exactly how to live a life pleasing to Him, and in it I see God saying this, "Don't be afraid to walk through the fire when I call you to (like Moses and Aaron), or to be near the fire (like the Israelites)....if you follow My commandments, though you may get a little charred on the outside, the inside will remain intact...fear Me for I am powerful, but trust Me because I am loving.  You are My people, My beloved, the fire will hurt you if you don't respect it, if you don't follow the guidelines I gave you for dealing with it, but if you do, I will see you through it and I will bless you because of it." 

 

I hate that the house my husband and I have worked so hard on is now in a state of crisis; I hate that the outside is charred and that everyone in town knows all about what happened to our home, but I love that not one drop of water, or one lick of flame touched what was on the inside.  I see myself in my house, and in Moses making his way through the desert;  I've walked through some fires in my life, and I have met with God on some mountain tops, but in everything, through all of the refining and all of the doubts and close calls, my outside might be a little charred, but my inside still trusts in Christ alone, and when Christ dwells in your house, not a lick of flame or a drop of water will enter in. 

 

The Israelites didn't have the example of Jesus back then, but they had the hope of Him;  God's laws were their example, the guidelines they were to follow.  Their lives weren't easy, and they complained a lot, but they were God's chosen people, and He walked with them through the impossible, through the fire. 

 

Today, we have Jesus Christ as our example, and though our lives are not easy and though everyone around us may know our failures and see our charred shingles, when we accept Jesus into our lives, nothing in this world can touch us;  we need only to trust in Him and when we do He will see us through the impossible; He'll get us through the fire.    

The Battle Belongs to the Lord

I realized this week that I have never really had any understanding of what "the fear of the Lord" means.  I've heard it said many times, and I've even memorized bible verses about it,  but I've never truly "gotten" them.  The only real fear I have ever understood is my own fear of the world. 

Do you have a fear that you are forced to face on a daily basis?  I do.  I have several of them in fact, but one in particular has taken a prominent place in my life this year.  That fear is one of gossip;  I hate the wildfire that gushes out of careless mouths.  I can't lie,  I have been guilty of such carelessness (I think we all have), but particularly in the small community we are a part of and with the pain of what we've come through this year, I feel the heat of it almost daily.  I'm not judging those who talk about me because truthfully if I was on the outside looking in, I would probably do the same.  If all I had was words to help me gain understanding, and if lacked life experience in this area, I would talk too.  I get it, but I still fear it.  I love my husband and I proudly walk arm in arm with him, but it's not my strength that carries me;  only by God's mighty hand do I keep my head up because on my own, the fear that I know so well, would rule over me. 

That's the fear I know;  my fears are based completely on worldliness, and solely on man's sinful nature.  I have never really understood "the fear of the Lord" until recently. 

Something amazing happened to me this week as I was reading in the Old Testament:  it suddenly all became real.  As I have said before, I love to read;  I get lost in books as my mind creates worlds from words written on a page, but I've never done that with the bible before.  I read it, I believe it, and I memorize it, but I've never lost myself in it.  We have all learned the Sunday School versions of the Old Testament stories, but have you ever immersed yourself in the uncut version?  Have you ever allowed your mind the freedom to imagine what it would be like to be oppressed, forced into slavery, and to live under a ruler who declares that every male baby that is born must be killed?  Can you imagine fleeing from armies, having actual conversations with God, and telling God that He must have picked the wrong guy for the job?  I think it's sometimes hard (at least for me) to put myself there in the middle of the parted Red Sea;  it's hard to imagine what that would've been like, or to believe that it really happened at all.  It did happen though, and as I read Exodus this week I found myself there;  I suddenly understood the power of God, and with that, the fear of Him. 

God chose Moses to lead His people out of Egypt;  it wasn't easy, but God intended for it to not be easy.  In Exodus 7:3-5 God says, "But I will harden Pharaoh's heart, and though I multiply my miraculous signs and wonders in Egypt, he will not listen to you (Moses and Aaron).  Then I will lay my hand on Egypt and with mighty acts of judgment I will bring out my divisions, my people the Israelites.  And the Egyptians will know that I am the Lord when I stretch out my hand against Egypt and bring the Israelites out of it."  My first thought is that I want to know what God's voice sounded like when He said, "...the Egyptians will know that I am the Lord...";  can you imagine that?  The authority and power behind it...  Pharaoh and his officials had no fear of the Lord, and boy, did they get a lesson in it.  Sign after sign, plague after plague, God's power kept increasing until suddenly the Israelites are standing at the shore of the Red Sea.  As God's children cry out in fear with the water on one side and the Egyptian army on the other, Moses (the man who previously debated with God over his speaking abilities) says this, "Do not be afraid!  Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today.  The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.  The Lord will fight for you;  you need only to be still." 

And there is it...  What a beautiful speech; a gift from God out of the mouth of one who said he couldn't do it.  "You need only to be still..."  God delivered the Israelites;  they walked straight through the Red Sea.  As I read the story, I could feel the mist of the water on my face, and I could imagine the confusion, the wonder, and the fear of my God who was quite literally guiding them through the impossible.  The Egyptians tried to follow the path through the sea, and as Moses had said, the Israelites would never see them again; "That day the Lord saved Israel from the hands of the Egyptians, and Israel saw the Egyptians lying dead on the shore.  And when the Israelites saw the great power the Lord displayed against the Egyptians, the people feared the Lord and put their trust in Him..."  Exodus 14:30-31. 

The fear of the Lord has suddenly become very real to me;  though I had heard the Exodus story many times before, I never "got" it until now.  The Lord is powerful, and He moves in mighty ways...even today... 

We all face fears;  yours is most certainly different from mine, but know this:  the battle belongs to the Lord.  When we walk in faith with Him, He will deliver us from any multitude of situations, and with fear of Him comes the beginning of truly understanding His love for us. 

When you find yourself caught in the middle of an impossible situation, when a sea that threatens to drown you is on one side and an army who is out to get you is on the other, remember, "you need only to be still...'  The Lord who loves you with a never ending, incomprehensible love will make a way every time, and as you feel the mist of the raging sea on your face remember it is He who is holding back the water;  trust in Him and give thanks to Him.

I love the song lyrics that say, "In heavenly armor we'll enter this land, the battle belongs to the Lord.  No weapon that's fashioned against will stand, the battle belongs to the Lord.  We sing glory and honor, power and strength to the Lord..." 

Sunflowers in My Garden

I have discovered a new love in recent weeks:  gardening.  I've never had a garden before, and though in the past I have tried to grow potted tomato plants, I have had very little success.  The truth is, the closest thing I've ever had to a garden was when my mom painted a picket fence and sunflowers on my wall when I was 15.  I was a bit obsessed with sunflowers at the time, and truth be told, not much has changed since then. 

Sunflowers are bright and beautiful; they are sturdy and strong.  Sunflowers grow tall, and not only were they given their name because they resemble the sun, but they also follow the sun...I think there's a lesson there, but that's not exactly the point I wanted to make this morning...

We have an area in our backyard that I have lovingly dubbed "the mud pit";  the soil is so over saturated in parts of it that it's just a constant muddy mess.  You see the owners of our house used to live here, and they used to have a garden there, but now it's just a patch of dirt that gets the run off from the sprinklers and my kids' inflatable swimming pool.  For a year now it's been mud;  a part of our yard that I keep the kids out of, and where we store icky toys and other things we're not really sure what to do with.  Two months ago we purchased three tomato plants "just to see" if we could grow them without killing them.  It worked!  I can eat fresh tomatoes everyday if I want, and I often do.  
With the success of our three little plants, we decided to expand the garden.  It took some cleaning, some throwing old toys away,  and  some pulling weeds, but eventually we had a beautiful "clean" patch of dirt with which to start.  We went to our local garden center and picked out a variety of fruits and vegetables; on a whim I grabbed a package of sunflower seeds.  When we got home, we wasted no time getting those plants in the ground, and as I hopefully (and sentimentally) sowed the sunflower seeds by our picket fence I had a lingering doubt in my mind that they would actually sprout;  they are just seeds, tiny compared to the thick muddy dirt I was planting them in...would they really grow? 

As if reading my mind, my husband asked me, "So, do you really think those seeds will do anything?" 
"No," I replied without hesitation, "but we'll see what happens...."

I'm still in a bit of shock over what I'm about to tell you, but it's true...they sprouted...all of them!  At this moment they are only about two inches tall, just green stems with two to four leaves each, but they are every bit as beautiful as I imagined!  All I did was plant a seed in the ground, not even a pretty, colorful seed...a black and tanish one...but from that a sprout sprung forth;  what an amazing thing!

As I have been marveling over this for a few days, God, in His continuous faithfulness to me through my daily reading schedule brought me to the parable of the sower in the book of Luke. In this parable Jesus tells of a farmer who sows his seed in various places;  the seed sown on the path is trampled and eaten by birds, the seed on the rock withered due to lack of moisture, the seed sown among the thorns were eventually choked by the thorns, but the seed in good soil sprouted and yielded a crop.  Jesus often spoken in parables, but then would explain the meaning behind them to His disciples:

" This is the meaning of the parable:  The seed is the word of God.  Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved.  Those on the rock are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root.  They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away.  The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life's worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature.  But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop." 

 Luke 8:11-15

 

 

 

I am amazed at how God works through His word in my life;  I am in awe that His timing in revealing Himself to me is perfect.  When I sowed my sunflower seeds I had no idea if they would turn into anything, but I had hope;  the same is true with the seeds I sow in life.  When I share His word with people, when I am an example for Him, and a witness for Him, I have no idea what kind of soil it's falling into, and I have no idea if those seeds will take root in some one's life or not.  Whether I know that or not doesn't matter;  God just asks me to do it.  You see, He is the gardener.  He knows what the soil is like, and when we are faithful to Him and do what He asks of us, every so often the seeds we sow will sprout into something beautiful, colorful, strong, and sturdy.  Every so often they will start to resemble the Son and follow Him. 

 

When we noticed the sprouts coming up along the fence line, my husband said, "Wow, I really didn't think those would do anything."

I said, "Neither did I, but I am so excited that they did!!" 

 

 

When you start to sow seeds in life's garden you may doubt the soil they're falling into, and truthfully you may not be in the same place long enough to see if the seeds sprout or not, but take heart, He knows, He sees, and He cares for each one. 

 

Some of the plants we planted that day have withered and died, some are showing potential and with the proper care will hopefully produce the fruit they were meant to, and as for our little sunflowers...well, I can't wait for them to mature, and to see those bright, beautiful flowers growing tall and following the sun.