Call Me Mara

 

 

"Don't call me Naomi," she told them.  "Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter.  I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty.  Why call me Naomi?  The Lord has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me."  Ruth 1:20-21

 

 

 

 

I love listening to the music channels on our television.  Whether we are just hanging out, eating dinner, or cleaning the house there is almost always music playing in the background.  Samuel, the Beatles fan that he is, prefers the 60's station; Micah, looking up to his big brother, prefers whatever Samuel prefers, and I love listening the contemporary Christian channel.  We alternate between between those two, and throw in some classical jazz and malt shop oldies when we need some variety in our lives. 

A few months ago while listening the Christian station, I realized that our boys don't really know the worship songs, or even the kids' Sunday school songs that my husband and I grew up singing.  This struck me as being very sad, and it has pushed me to introduce them to the songs that meant, and still mean, so much to me.

In the car we have been listening to a CD of children's bible songs, and slowly I'm starting to hear them sing along;  little voices drifting up to my ears from the backseat.  Even Jude is beginning to have his favorites, and when they are over he yells out, "TRY AGAIN!! TRY AGAIN!!". 

One of the songs on this particular CD is Father Abraham.  How many hundreds of times have I sang this song in my life?  "Father Abraham has many sons;  many sons has Father Abraham.  I am one of them and so are you, so let's all praise the Lord...". 

After about the tenth time hearing the chorus of children sing about Father Abraham, Samuel calls up from backseat, "Mommy, that song just doesn't make sense!  Abraham didn't have 'many sons';  he only had one son, Isaac.  It just doesn't make sense."

 

Ahhh, Samuel...my son who knows every story in his Children's Story Bible. 

 

I turn the music down, and begin to explain the promise that God made to Abraham; I talk to him about Sara, who is old and who doesn't believe she can really have a child;  I tell him about Hagar and Ishmael.  When I'm done he says, "That story isn't in my bible...why would that story not be in my bible???" 

So we talk about Sunday school stories verses the real bible stories.  I tell him that sometimes the real stories aren't so pretty;  the kid stories are meant to introduce children to God, and His story, but the real bible tells it all...good and bad.  "After all Sam," I say, "life is not always so pretty...things aren't always pleasant.  There is pain in this world, evil.  It can be scary and overwhelming." 

 

Micah pipes up, "I don't understand Mommy.  Why was it bad?"

Before I even realize it, the words come out of my mouth, "How would we feel if Daddy had another family with another Mommy?"

"No!" Micah yells, "That can't happen..we can't let that happen.."

"No, we wouldn't let that happen," I say.

 

And then Samuel, deep in thought over this new found knowledge speaks up, "Mommy, I want my bible to have the good and the bad stories...I want to know them all."

 

"That's because you're getting older Sam," I say, "With maturity we are able to handle the good and the bad, the pretty and the ugly...we can start to see how God works through it all..."

 

 

When Cory and I married, I chose two verses to cling to; to apply to our marriage, our marriage of separation and reunion, our marriage of constant moving and change.  I chose Ruth 1:16-17, "Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay.  Your people will be my people and your God my God.  Where you die I will die, and there I will by buried.  May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me."

I love the story of Ruth.  Her love for, and faithfulness to her mother in law, Naomi, is amazing;  her determination to fulfill the commitment she made when she married Naomi's son...even after his death...is a true example of Godly love and strength.  She left her family, her people, and set off on an journey to a new land;  two women in search of their place in the world.  Ruth is all in;  there is no hesitation within her as she follows each and every direction Naomi gives her, save leaving Naomi at the onset of the story. 

 

I've read it, I know it, I love it, but there's more...  This is how I know the bible is "living and active": each time I go back and read the stories again, God reveals more of Himself to me.  I see things I have never seen before;  another layer peels back, and I get a little closer to the Center, to Him. 

 

There's another story.   After all, there are two women, and while the book is called Ruth, and much of it focuses on her pledge to Naomi, and her acts of living that pledge out, Naomi's story is there too. 

Naomi, who lost her husband and her two sons; Naomi, with a  name that means "pleasant", finds herself in a not so pleasant situation.  She is alone, she has passed the age of remarrying, she is at her lowest; her security is gone.  She starts out heading back to her homeland with two young women in tow, on the road she turns to them, and you can feel the desperation in her words, the depression, the hopelessness as she urges them to just leave her.  There is no reason for them to suffer, no reason for them not remarry and stay with their people;  "Return home, my daughters.  Why would you come with me?  Am I going to have any more sons, who could become your husbands?  Return home, my daughters; I am too old to have another husband...No, my daughters.  It is more bitter for me than for you because the Lord's hand has gone out against me!"

 

One turns back, but the other...she stays;  she will not be dissuaded.  Naomi, seeing that her pleading will not change Ruth's mind stopped talking and continued on;  maybe she thought, "why would this girl stay with me?  Silly girl...I have nothing to offer her."

 

As the women arrive in Bethlehem, the bible says "the whole town was stirred because of them" (vs 19).  The people want to know if it's really Naomi; after all of this time could it really be her?  Why is she home? 

 

This is where Naomi says, "Don't call me Naomi (pleasant)," she told them.  "Call me Mara (meaning bitter) because the Almighty has made my life very bitter.  I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty.  Why call me Naomi?  The Lord has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me." 

She's a woman who is hurt, she's a woman who has seemingly lost everything; not blessed, not full, but empty and afflicted.  "Call me Bitter," she says, "why would you call me Pleasant?  My God has punished me, and I am spent, gone, hopeless."

 

At this I stop, and I realize that the story of Ruth is not complete without the story of Naomi; they are two halves of a whole.  Pain and bitterness, birthed from loss and fear, coupled with resolve and love born from a bond of commitment and trust that refuses to be broken;  this is the stuff of life, the beautiful and the wretched. 

 

You should take a minute to read the story of Ruth and Naomi, even if you  have read it and reread it before.  It's a beautiful story of redemption, of relationship.  At the beginning Naomi tells her friends  that she is bitter, and in the end they again call her pleasant;  it's a story about how God's plans are bigger than ours, and how pain and bitterness can pave the way for redemption and salvation. 

 

There have been times in my life that I have screamed out, "Call me Mara!...the Lord has afflicted me...";  the best part about my story is that God has shown me each step of the way that suffering always gives birth to new hope when we completely trust in Him. 

 

Maturity brings about the willingness to accept the good and the bad, the pretty and the ugly;  it opens our eyes, one layer at a time, to Him, to His work, our Weaver, our Giver of Life.