My San Diego Girl

The closer I get to God, the more I see His work in my life on a daily basis, and the more I recognize the things in my past that have brought me to where I am today.  I believe God puts people and situations in our path everyday that are meant to test us and refine us;  sometimes we rise to the challenge, and sometimes we face the regret of opportunities missed...

If I close my eyes, I can see her face;  she is in her early 20's, my age back then.  She has light brown hair that is matted into dreadlocks;  she's wearing jeans, and a navy blue zip-up hoodie over a dark pink shirt.  She has the red strap of a cloth messenger bag running from her left shoulder to her right hip; it gently reveals the telltale bump as it crosses her abdomen.  In her hand she holds a cardboard sign that says:  Homeless, Pregnant, Help.  There was something about her that pulled at my heart;  I passed by her on my way to work everyday for about a month as she stood at a busy San Diego intersection.  One day she was gone, and 11 years later I'm still sitting here wondering what ever happened to her.  I'm haunted by her face, and by what I knew back then yet chose to ignore:  I was supposed to do something.
 
I know that God knows what we're going to do before we do it, and I know that He knew I wouldn't have it in me at that point in my life to pull over, and to figure out a way to help.  I was young, immature, and quite selfish, but I believe that God allowed my path to cross hers to teach me a lesson I will never forget.  It's not a lesson that I learned over night, but one that has become clearer as His Spirit has increased in me.  Back then, I skated by, only letting in as much of Him as I felt I needed;  today, my heart's door is wide open, and I continually ask Him to fill me. 

I believe that God puts opportunities in front of us through which He tests our faith;  He already knows where we are in relation to Him through His Spirit, but I look at these tests as self-evaluations...how would you grade yourself on matters of the Spirit?   11 years ago I would give myself a D- on that front;  I was at least able to feel the Spirit pulling, but feeling and doing are two very different things. 

I know that God forgave me for not helping my San Diego girl, but I hold her image in my head to remind myself not to miss an opportunity like that again. 

Let me stop here and say that I don't believe that you should throw all of your money or time at each and every person on the street;  there needs to be caution and responsibility in it, but when you're living by the Spirit you will be able to recognize the right way to handle each situation. 

Luke 6:30 says, "Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.  Do to others as you would have them do to you."

Matthew 5:42 says, "Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you."

Deuteronomy 15:11 tells us, "There will always be poor people in the land.  Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and needy in your land."

John 15:12 says, "Love one another as I have loved you."

James 1:22 says, "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says."

Give to everyone who asks??  Be openhanded??  Love one another completely...does that really include everyone???  Yes.  The bible doesn't say, "Help only those in your family", or "Help those who help you."  It clearly says "everyone", and it commands us to not just recognize those words, but to follow through in doing them. 

Had I made different choices in my life, I could have been that pregnant, homeless girl standing on a busy street corner;  by God's grace alone, my life is vastly different from that.  My hope is that someone did stop to help her; my hope is that whoever did so introduced her to Jesus, so that her and her little baby would find a better life in Him.  At that point in my life, I wasn't ready to do that; God knew that I wasn't yet He allowed me to feel the pull on my heart, and to feel the emotions that come in the wake of a missed opportunity.  

I was walking out of the grocery store this week when a man asked me for money, "A nickel?  A quarter?, " he said, "Anything would help..."  I did what I usually do in those situations: I put my head down, and muttered, "Sorry, I don't have any cash right now..."  I made it to my car before I once again recognized the familiar pull on my heart, "Do something," it said, "anything will help..."  I dug through my change tray, quickly found a few quarters, breathed in God's courage, and then approach the man in need.  He gratefully accepted my offering, and that was it;  I got in the car and drove home.  It was so simple, yet so powerful;  the work of the Spirit often is.  God's love doesn't have to be shown in huge, mountain moving ways; sometimes His love takes the shape of a few quarters from the change tray. 

Do you feel a pull on your heart to help someone?  To give grace, or money, or time?  That pull that you're feeling is the Holy Spirit in you.  When you allow Him to work in you and when you step out in faith to do even the smallest of things, His love will be glorified, multiplied, and magnified through you.  It's not your work, or your money, or your time...it's His, and through it He will bless you, and He will draw you even closer to him.  Don't miss the opportunity to do His work, to share His love, and to be His vessel of hope in this world. 

 I never want to forget the face of my San Diego girl;  though I never met her, she taught me quite a bit about myself and about who I want to be.